My dietician called me today and that was the last straw. I'm so ready to break. I know everyone says that life with diabetes is manageable, and it is to some degree, but what about all the emotional stuff that goes with it. I think that people forget about that and that they just plain don't understand.
The question of the day for me has been, what is bothering you so much and why aren't you motivated?
Well, how do you explain to people who don't understand and tell you it's a manageable disease that you feel like your life has been taken from you, and that you are sick of dealing with this. Diabetes has changed my whole life. It's really all that I have known. From growing up with a mom who was diabetic, to a dad who got diabetes, and then me being diagnosed. I never had a good role model or anyone to talk to about it. I'm struggling and I don't know what to do. This disease is going to kill me if I don't take some control.
I'm not okay being diabetic. I'm not okay watching what I eat, taking my blood sugars, and taking insulin. I'm mad that there isn't more being done to find a cure. I'm just mad at the world. What did I do to deserve this? How do I live with something that I can't even begin to fathom? I'm just so tired and scared. Diabetes is exhausting and expensive.