The Normals

[mohe0001]

I need to have a chat about the Normals. Something aint right, but I think I see trends. I call on all of you to have hard conversations with your Normys so they are emotionally prepared for what comes next.

I know that we are in a time of skepticism about the media. That might be well founded. I understand that sentiment. But, I feel like the majority of conversations I have had with people over previous 6 weeks have eventually turned to flu. There is definitely a disturbing trend.

Conversation #4 with Elderly, irritable, old Rob:

mohe: “I feel like you ought to give a key to this place to your sister…just in case.”

Rob: “I am NOT giving my sister a key to my apartment.” (raising his voice in a crecendo)

mohe: “She’s a Doctor, Rob. She may need to come check on you. What if something happens?”

Rob: “They are completely overreacting about this flu. I take the bus to work everyday. There’s no one on it. They should NOT have closed the bars. They are completely overreacting. I dont listen to news from white people anymore.” (yelling, now)

mohe: “I want your sisters phone number. You taking any medications?”

mohe: “You got your affairs in order, Rob? Does your sister know that you have pictures of your parents in here? Do your nieces?”

Rob: “I spoke to my niece TODAY.” (irritated by any unintentional implication by mohe that his family and their communications are anything but perfect.)

Later that day: mohe’s phone receives links to youTube history of pandemics vol 1. Later, volume 2. Later, some covid articles. Rob is clearly considering our conversation.

Mohe’s current conclusion about the state of the Normys:

After countless conversations like this, some of them lasting weeks, with countless individuals, I draw the following conclusion.

The normys don’t totally understand whats happening. I think they need us to talk them through what is happening. I think it takes a number of conversations, but that they trust us and will come around. I think there are a lot of barriers to people coming to terms with our current situation. Some things that I have noticed are:

1.) Normys are used to feeling in control of everything and are kinda unable to process the concept of their own mortality and effects of illness. I think this is because they lack fundamental experience with that stuff and they aren’t too blame. They genuinely dont understand.

2.) Some Normys DO understand the current threat. Some of them lived and worked in China for long periods and they have watched this go down previously. They might have been reading chinese newspapers for weeks ahead of press release in the US. Those normys have become paralyzed with fear. I have had any number of explosive, emotionally volatile conversations with these normys that are mostly just them venting. They tend to reach out to me, specifically. They tend to get really mad. But, I didn’t invent the flu and I can’t cure it. Its not my fault. I’m just a simple diabetic, caught in the crosshairs. Many of these normys are reaching out to caretake for in-laws and have some real serious troubles confronting them.

3.) Some normys believe what is happening, but are in complete emotional denial. They have been tough.

4.) The normy don’t understand the medical system. This is their greatest weakness, now.

5.) The normys seems to have questionable, less developed ideas about ethics in this situation. Expect to have to walk around in their thoughts to sort that out.

WHAT DO WE DO WITH OUR NORMALS?!?!?!?!
I’m finding them really hard to work with.
There’s a lot that gets lost in the culture gap.
Its hard to explain everything and there are so many of them!

[Willow4]

And what if THEY are right and YOU are wrong?

[mohe0001]

LOL, could be.

[Timothy]

I like to run my own life, when I can no longer do that, I will take a long walk into the Australian Outback and be eaten by baby eagles.
That sounds horrible to some people, but for me laying in a bed dependent on everyone taking care of me is far more disturbing to me

[mohe0001]

LOL, @Timothy.

@Willow4, I just spent 4 weeks trying to get a Normal to go to the Doctor for the 1st time in 7 years. This Normal was loosing the ability to walk due to a fungal infection in feet - still refused to go in. I am convinced that the Normals are insane and completely nonfunctional. I was successful, but part of me doesn’t care about reasoning with Normals any more.

[Willow4]

@mohe0001, We are dealing with semantics here. What you are calling normals I consider to be abnormals. Frankly, I do not think there is such thing as normal human being. Everyone has a screw loose and whether one views them as normal or abnormal depends upon one’s own loose screw.

@Timothy, I agree with you wholeheartedly. Quantity of life versus quality of life is not a winner for me either. Lying in bed dependent upon others is not living. And that is why I have a DNR order in place. DNR… Do Not Resuscitate. I am now 80 years old, in really good health (in spite of the DM) and on the border of natural demise simply due to age.

[Timothy]

Yes, I agree you can’t call that normal anymore.

[Terry4]

@Willow4

Quantity of life versus quality of life is not a winner for me either.

I like the term, health-span, instead of life-span, to describe my longevity ambition. My biggest fear is sliding into a state where I can no longer communicate my wishes. Keeping my vital signs sustained in the face of daunting incurable disability is not for me.

[mohe0001]

What do we call them? I need a pet name for non-diabetics.

[Terry4]

I call them gluco-normals. Unfortunately, a significant percentage of non-diabetics are actually undiagnosed pre-diabetic (a weird euphemism) or T2D.

[Boerenkool]

This is one of the most puzzling conversations I’ve ever seen on this website.

[Willow4]

@Boerenkool, then it is obvious that your loose screw does not match ours!

[MBW]

The OP might have had a hypo at the time of writing the first note.
Or maybe not — possibly just more poetic than I am?

[Timothy]

Call them unsweetened.

[mohe0001]

Don’t you have ‘unsweetened’ Normals where you are, @Boerenkool?

I swear to God, I have never had so many discussions about the healthcare system with average people than since covid started. One stopped me in the entry way of Walmart the other week and told me all his thoughts on the medical system for a HALF AN HOUR. I’m not exaggerating - HALF AN HOUR standing in the entry way of walmart. I tried to walk away and he followed me through the isles.

I can’t take it anymore.

I simply cannot tolerate talking to ‘unsweetend’ Normals about their thoughts on the healthcare system. Is this what its like to talk to us?

They know so little, yet they have SOOO much to say - all of them.

[Stemwinder_Gary]

@mohe0001

They know so little, yet they have SOOO much to say - all of them.

You say they know so little but do they really, I’ll agree they may know little of the D experience with healthcare but I wager to say that almost all of them know it from their own perspective. Almost everyone experiences the good, the bad and the ugly of healthcare machine perhaps just not as intensely as diabetics or people with most other chronic diseases.

[mohe0001]

I’ll try to be patient, Gary.
There’s some really wild perspectives floating around out there.
There are ideas that I cannot even begin to address.
It all gets a little “Twilight Zone.” My empathy is running short.

My step mom had a stroke during covid and the Docs told her not to drive, but she’s doing it anyway. She crashed into a parked car the other week so hard in a parking lot that she totaled both cars. The burden of managing the Normals and their medical problems is killing me. I have to stop. Their on their own. They just think there are no rules that apply to them and that medical things don’t affect them.

[MM1]

@mohe0001

their medical problems is killing me. I have to stop.

Sounds like you do need to set some boundaries for yourself, stopping altogether if needed, or just cutting back.

[Willow4]

@mohe0001

My step mom had a stroke during covid and the Docs told her not to drive, but she’s doing it anyway.

Whether they are DMers or, as you call them, “normals,” people are people and will do as they wish. You cannot be responsible for everyone’s irresponsible actions. Your stepmother will be see the repercussions through her auto insurance carrier and/or the law. That should be her awakening. Righting every wrong in the world is an awesome job and NOT your responsibility.