The person who has taught me most - my 3 and a half year old son

I am sitting on my bed as I am typing this, with my husband and my two boys lying asleep next to me. It is Sunday afternoon, five minutes after four. I am thinking of the last 3 and half years of my life. My life has changed so dramatically these past years and I’m only now really starting to think about this.

Before I became a mommy I was (and I’m ashamed to admit to this) a bit spoiled, a bit selfish, maybe a bit arrogant and generally not the nicest person in the world. I know now that I didnt really know myself, I didnt know the person sitting here typing this, even existed.

Yes, my boys changed this, more specifically my eldest son. We found out I was pregnant when we were married about 7 months. We were so exited, and couldnt wait for his arrival. The day came a bit sooner than expected, he was born 4 weeks prematurely, and that day was the best and worst day of my life.

My son was born with severe health challenges (that we didnt know about during my pregnancy) – see my post on CFC Syndrome. He spent the first 3 weeks of his life in NICU, and I got the wake-up call of my life! Here was this little person that God created especially for us. He trusted us to take care of him.

I didnt once think why me, why us? The only question I still struggle with, is why does he have to go through all of this? All of the hospital admissions, the needles, the therapy, the potential complications (because of the diabetes). I try not to think about this question to much, I know someday I will get the answer.

The person that has taught me the most in life is 3 and a half years old, sounds weird right?

· The biggest lesson I have learned from him is perseverance. When I look at him now I am still amazed at what he has accomplished. He is starting to walk now and I am so proud of him! His physiotherapist admitted the other day that she thought he would never walk.

· Another lesson is trust – such unconditional trust that it scares me sometimes. When I look in his eyes and I see his unwavering believe in me, I know I will do whatever it takes to keep that trust he has placed in me.

· He has also taught me to fight for what is precious to me. I will fight anything and anyone that threatens him or my family. I am now and will forever be his protector.

· I have learned to be humble, I listen to advice a lot more openly, but also selectively.

· I have also learned not to sweat the little things. So what if I’m not having the best hair day ever – I am healthy and I have two precious boys to be grateful for!

· There are still so many other things, love, thankfulness, prayer, faith, patience.

I can honestly say that I would not change anything about my life, because with the three men in my life it is perfect!
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I read your blog - I think I must count my blessings - I do pray for you, you have a lot more to go through than I have - and I get depressed at times!! Nice meeting you!

I just read your post here, it is beautiful and made me weep.
You are a very strong person to go through so much. I thank God everyday that it is me with diabetes and not my daughter! I don’t know if I could handle that and I don’t know how my mother did.
You and all your family are in my thoughts and prayers

Hi Elsa my name is Gloria I have been diabetic for 52 years now.But I was born in Cape Town South Africa I am 61 now.I live in northern Ontario Canada.God bless your whole family you are brave.I just wanted to said that and your story is a very good one.I have been thought trying times my self my cousins live their still if I could Ime and my husband would fly over but I am scared of flying. I have a cousin Gerry brand and his wife live in Cape Town. It was nice talking to you and all well for all your family God Bless you all.You will be just fine
Gloria Gibbons my maiden nam was Howell

Hi Elsa, You are truly a very special person! My son Llewellyn has type 1 and was diagnosed when he was 7 months. He will be two next week. I’ve have felt so sorry for myself at times, but you just reminded me of just how much I have to be thankful for. Good luck.