I am sitting on my bed as I am typing this, with my husband and my two boys lying asleep next to me. It is Sunday afternoon, five minutes after four. I am thinking of the last 3 and half years of my life. My life has changed so dramatically these past years and I’m only now really starting to think about this.
Before I became a mommy I was (and I’m ashamed to admit to this) a bit spoiled, a bit selfish, maybe a bit arrogant and generally not the nicest person in the world. I know now that I didnt really know myself, I didnt know the person sitting here typing this, even existed.
Yes, my boys changed this, more specifically my eldest son. We found out I was pregnant when we were married about 7 months. We were so exited, and couldnt wait for his arrival. The day came a bit sooner than expected, he was born 4 weeks prematurely, and that day was the best and worst day of my life.
My son was born with severe health challenges (that we didnt know about during my pregnancy) – see my post on CFC Syndrome. He spent the first 3 weeks of his life in NICU, and I got the wake-up call of my life! Here was this little person that God created especially for us. He trusted us to take care of him.
I didnt once think why me, why us? The only question I still struggle with, is why does he have to go through all of this? All of the hospital admissions, the needles, the therapy, the potential complications (because of the diabetes). I try not to think about this question to much, I know someday I will get the answer.
The person that has taught me the most in life is 3 and a half years old, sounds weird right?
· The biggest lesson I have learned from him is perseverance. When I look at him now I am still amazed at what he has accomplished. He is starting to walk now and I am so proud of him! His physiotherapist admitted the other day that she thought he would never walk.
· Another lesson is trust – such unconditional trust that it scares me sometimes. When I look in his eyes and I see his unwavering believe in me, I know I will do whatever it takes to keep that trust he has placed in me.
· He has also taught me to fight for what is precious to me. I will fight anything and anyone that threatens him or my family. I am now and will forever be his protector.
· I have learned to be humble, I listen to advice a lot more openly, but also selectively.
· I have also learned not to sweat the little things. So what if I’m not having the best hair day ever – I am healthy and I have two precious boys to be grateful for!
· There are still so many other things, love, thankfulness, prayer, faith, patience.
I can honestly say that I would not change anything about my life, because with the three men in my life it is perfect!
For more posts see my blog at: http://www.livingwithdiabetes.co.za