They are known by various names. The Diabetes Police, the Food Police, etc. They can be anyone—friend, relative, coworker, even casual acquaintance or near-stranger, and they can suddenly appear where least expected. What they all have in common is superior knowledge, and they always act For Your Own Good and With Your Best Interest At Heart. They are easily identified:
“Can you eat that?”
“You shouldn’t be eating that!”
Slapping your hand away when you reach for something (yes, that actually happens)
The above list is neither complete nor exhaustive. I’m sure you can list many other distinguishing behaviors and characteristics. Not to mention real life examples.
I haven’t experienced the ‘You should not eat that!’-Police yet, but I have encountered the ‘You should eat that’-Police. This Police tries to force you to eat high carb stuff because it is supposedly indecent to refuse food.
“Just take some insulin!”
“One high BG level won’t do much damage!” (Oh, I didn’t know I never had high BG levels except for that one time you offer me cake. My glucose meter must have been lying to me )
I have a family member who says I shouldn’t eat this or that. Then I politely point out to them the fact that they’re on pills for high cholesterol and sucking down a piece of fried chicken. They say it’s not the same. I tell them “why don’t you eat a better diet and stop relying on Atorvastatin to control your disease!” Now this person leaves me alone lol. If someone put their hand in front of me to slap my hand out of the way of a good piece of food, said person would probably lose said hand by me eating it off of their wrist lol. Don’t mess with my grub.
I haven’t seen the you should eat that police lol. I like the “nonyabusiness” police. The ones that keep their advice to themselves. But that will never happen. I love the peeps who tell me they have severe pain too and that Tylenol works. It is for this reason I tend to keep my medical issues to myself. I know it’s not so easy when you’re on insulin though.
Whenever I encounter these situations, I think of the perfect retort too late. The French even have a name for this situation, espirit de l’escalier. The literal translation is “the spirit of the staircase.” The context is a dinner party with plenty of conversation and you are left speechless at some juncture and can’t think of an appropriate response until you descend the stairway-exit for the evening.
“You shouldn’t be eating that.” Answer: “I appreciate your concern for my health. I’ve been living with diabetes for 280,000 hours, how long have you studied diabetes nutrition?”
A peripheral discussion to the food police is the good kind/bad kind of diabetes topic. When someone states, “Oh, you have the bad kind of diabetes.” I’ll respond with, “There’s a good kind?”
Hahaha I get all of those. mainly “You can’t have that!” and “Can you have that?” I work in an ER though so whenever someone brings a treat I get “just hit that plus button” and “Don’t worry, if you go into DKA we know what to do.” Huge contrast from my other job. One time I had a grown-a** man freak out because I did an injection in front of him. He actually went “EEEEWWWWWWWW!!!” I actually told him to grow a pair. He reported me. I reported him. It was so much fun.
The only thing like this for me was a holiday dinner. The hostess pushed dessert on everyone. I said no thanks, but then she demanded that I chose between one and the other super sweet dessert. I fumbled around to say no thank you. Next time I will just accept one and let it melt or go to waste in front of me.
It happened to me today!! Again! I was admiring a very nice-looking cake at the office and truly had no intention of eating any. This one woman tells me i can’t eat it. the effort was massive but i resisted the urge to smack her and said, “I have a full vial of insulin. I can eat ANYthing!” Not very mature, i know, but at least i didn’t follow it up with, “Just watch me!” and proceed to scarf it down lol
So infuriating!! The first time someone took a foodstuff out of my hand, i was so stunned that i couldn’t say anything. I’m ready for them now though lol
Life never fits your pictures. I actually had someone countermand an order I placed in a restaurant, and I was too stunned to react in real time. It had nothing to do with diabetes, however—different circumstances. But like you, I’m ready if she ever tries it again (my sister in law).
There is well meaning concern then there is outright bullying behavior. I have no idea how to get bullies to see they are far more harmful than helpful.
I use the terry4 approach. “I’ve been living with diabetes for 38 years now so I think I know what I’m doing!” It’s usually based on bad information. They think we still live in the world of exchanges instead of carb counting. It’s only been what 15 years, 20 years now that we’ve been counting carbs?
Like Terry4 I sometimes respond with “I’ve been thriving with type 1 diabetes for close to 40 years now. Where did you go to med school?” My favorite comeback - warning it is rude and snarky but that was called for - when someone started off telling me what I couldn’teat and that if I just ate right and lost weight I wouldn’t have diabetes. Oh she also used the word “dearie”. SO I responded with “I have type 1,so no amount of weight loss and/or lifestyle change is gonna cure me. And besides, it would take my entire body to weigh as much as one of your legs.” She has never approached me about anything ever again. Fine with me.
I think the worst Misinformed Matthew years ago was a 350 lb ex-coworker that told me because I used an insulin pump I had “really bad diabetes” and obviously didn’t take care of myself. He never really understood that there was any difference between Type 1 and Type 2. He always wanted “ice cream socials” as team celebrations for our work group where he would remind me I really couldn’t have any.
Sure didn’t seem like it was good intentions.
Some people are ignorant. I used to stick my nose in other peoples business. Now I have learned my lesson trying to explain to people what I have going on. It’s even worse once someone finds out you’re on prescription pain medication. You get the “I have severe back pain but Tylenol works fine for me!” Nope, you don’t have severe pain if Tylenol works for you or else we all would be on Tylenol. Getting the diseases I have has really enlightened me. That is the only good thing that has come from these infirmities. I am a better person. I wouldn’t even tolerate that woman as a Type 2. I can eat 140 grams of carbs right now and my BG is normal since two weeks back. I’m not cured of my diabetes, my body is just working for some reason and it has nothing to do with any diet or losing weight. The only thing I can think of is skipping two meals a day because I only want to deal with insulin at night. That is the only change I’ve made in the last six months aside from starting mealtime insulin. So, why is my diabetes under control when I’m still overweight and still eating 100 grams of carbs per day? This is just a wonky arse disease that does whatever it wants. Some people are just dumb. Thank got people that dumb are too dumb to become doctors. That makes me happy. lol
First Thanksgiving after dx we were at the Golden Corral and wife kept asking if I was sure I could eat what I was eating. Finally I told her to watch her plate and leave mine alone. That I knew I was going to have a high read later but I didn’t care. That it was once a year and I was going to enjoy myself. And I did. Especially the banana pudding. Even today I’ll still get that at times. I’ll tell her I can eat whatever I want in moderations to leave alone. But everyone here knows that we’ll always have that at home and elsewhere. But sometimes it’s fun to watch the deer in the headlights expressions when you answer people.
There are so many misconceptions about diabetes (many of them staunchly defended by diabetics themselves) that I am sort of . . . not sure how to say it. “Burned out” isn’t quite the right expression. I used to correct people conscientiously. Nowadays I pretty much just go on living and don’t bother. Life is short and I’d rather spend my energy doing something else. There are, of course, occasional exceptions, this community being one.
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