My wife and I have have been married for going on 18 years. We have 5 sons. Our oldest had cancer in 2002, when he was 1 year old…and he thankfully made it through OK. He’s going on 14 now. Our second oldest son was born with Autism, and our fourth son (our 2 year old) was diagnosed with T1 diabetes February of this year.
My wife and I were talking, this morning, about which one of these experiences has been the most “trying” for us…and we both agree that Diabetes wins hands down. I think our saving grace is that we COMMUNICATE…no matter if it’s good thoughts, bad thoughts, whether we’re disagreeing, arguing, crying together, just whatever…
My hope is that everyone out there has (or can find) a support system for you…without each other, I think we’d break if we were dealing with this alone…it’s something that is just on your mind 24 hours a day…it has to be…because your life, or the life of your child depends on it.
My love, respect and admiration to anyone out there dealing with this disease (in whichever form it’s in, T1 or T2), and my hope that you have strong relationships to help you in your journey. If we have one piece of advise for anyone who is struggling…it’s find someone close (friend, family, etc.,) that you can just spill your guts too…and use that person as your saving grace…and don’t be afraid to express every emotion you are feeling…as you feel it. If these emotions can be released, they won’t harm over the long haul.
I agree with and it’s wonderful that you and your wife can help each other through hard times. If I had to choose between that situation and going through diabetic challenges alone, I would definitely choose to share with another person close to me.
Having said that, I have been alone for most of my diabetes life. I’ve lived through a divorce and that’s not something I’d recommend to anyone. I have had to seek my own counsel and support through some trying times. While not ideal, I take a certain satisfaction in my independence and resourcefulness. And I’ve discovered that there are many people like me. When it comes to surviving, both physically and emotionally, you just do what you have to do.
I have been able to talk with and commiserate with some relationships I consider “second tier” in that they are not always available when you need them and they don’t fully appreciate what I’m up against. I count TuD as that same level of support. In that case, TuD members truly “get” the diabetes piece of my reality but they don’t really know me. It’s the nature of using this medium.
In summary, I wholeheartedly agree with your recommendation to seek out close personal support. But having lived a lot of my life without it, I also understand that many of us get by without that ideal.
That’s why I love this community, though…to me…and I’ve only been here a week now…I am already feeling like everyone here feels like family. I know I for one will use, and think many other use, the community as the same type of support I’m talking about. Everyone here can relate and goes through the same emotions, so it’s easier to “vent” here, and have a receptive community of like people to depend on, and help you through it.
Kudos to you and anyone else who have “gone at it alone”…I don’t know what I would do without my wife.
Living with diabetes is tough - no doubt about it. The only thing harder is loving somebody who has it while they struggle, suffer, win and lose the countless battles. You have more control over what happens to your son than my wife does (BGs, dosing, etc) but that doesn’t make it easier.
It is one thing to have a wretched, screaming low. It is hard when you feel like maple syrup is flowing in your veins and saying ‘hi’ or answering the phone is insurmountable. But I’ve gotten used to it. The pain, anxiety and fear I have dealing with those things has lessened over time. What I don’t know is if I has gotten easier for my wife to watch me endure this. I pray that it has.
Caregivers are like regular angels, but you have extra big wings. Bless you all.
