Tired! Just tired!

To All, really having I don’t want to be a diabettic day. I know, I know it is all about consistency and the slip ups leed to a shorter life. Today I could cash it all in. Tired of checking, tired of shots, tired of wearing shoes everywhere so not to injure my feet, really tired of everyone I start a conversation with begins “so how ya feelin?”, most of all I am sick of the worrying whether or not I do slip up and my spouse finds me unconscious.
Does someone feel the same?

I've been tired of it the last two decades. It's a slow toxic death. Everyday living as a diabetic is basically another day wasted. I refuse to accept living like this and If see one more commercial of a girl smiling with her new meter that only requires a drop of blood I will throw a wrench through my tv. By stopping any kind of future cure (whomever is involved) they are essentially committing murder and getting away with it.

I don't wear shoes everywhere. Birkenstock season hasn't quite hit, as there's a lingering chill but I prefer being comfy to being safe in that regard.

I hear you...it's like a never ending story...goes on and on and never seems to stop.

For 50 years.

Yep, I definitely get in that mode some days. I hate having to be so....careful....all the time. Sometimes it seems like the tiniest little slip-up could do me in. I don't know, it's like being hyper-vigilant all the time does something to your brain. Some days I feel like I'm on high alert because of all the work I have to do just to stay alive.

And then I try to remind myself of all the worse things that could be. Like I could have been diagnosed in 1920 instead and have been dead in just a few months. And I remind myself that I can physically do whatever I want with no limitations (at this point in my life), so I try to appreciate that.

I will say that I don't follow the whole "no shoe" thing. I do wear flip-flops and shoes that probably make my endo cringe. There are just some things I'm not gonna worry about too much. And I still have both my feet so I'm doing something right I guess.

Yes I Have had a very bad week myself...but I do know things could be worse. I just have to "suck it up cupcake" and keep going. Try to focus on all the blessings I have and not dwell on the diabetes. I have had it for 42 years...some days are good and some days really suck...buy so far no complications!...I AM BLESSED.

Why does everyone seem to use "things could be worse" to justify a horrific problem? IMO diabetes is one of the worst things one can endure. Sure there are some diseases that are worse but its a small percentage of people that have them. I can't use that "things could be worse" mentality when most everyone I know is healthy. Whether I am fooling myself or not being realistic I will keep fighting for what I deserve and that is a potential effective non-life threatening treatment,

It doesn't matter. We can complain about it, be correct in our assertion that diabetes is a horrible disease, we can donate money and argue that it be properly spend but, you will still have to deal with it. It doesn't matter if anyone is healthy or not. You have to be healthy for yourself. I think, that many people, perhaps yourself included, might find it more helpful to perhaps save the $$$ sent to chase a cure and spend the money on supplies that might help us run our numbers somewhere that would make us feel better? Sure, it doesn't always work, but I want to fight what I can beat up, the BG numbers I'm dealing with every day.

I donate money here and there but that's mostly to make myself feel better and, frankly, I'm not totally enthused about it. I'll continue to vote for the party that supports government intervention in social and medical issues and am willing to pay my fair share of taxes to hit benefits. Sooner or later, someone will figure out the cost analysis that I put in that other thread and go "if we can cure one million people for 20K each [$20 billion, a lot of money but still cheaper than taking care of us, even at a crappy, Medicare service level for years and years....], and sell the %$&# to China and India, we will be rolling in dough!" and the deal will get done.

yep!

Stonefish we've all had days (weeks) like that. This is what I was told.....pick urself up by the boot straps and maybe tomorrow will be better. So that's what I do. Yes things could be lots worse.

I've had good ones from people

"So hows your diabetes feeling?"
"Theres a needle in my arm... how do you THINK it feels?"

i really think the worst part of this disease is a total lack of understanding by the public. somehow they think that telling me their uncle lost both his feet and died from this is going to help.

and this might be a small silver lining...

You really don't HAVE to wear shoes everywhere. As long as you still have feeling in your feet, the chance of getting cut and not knowing bout it is pretty small. AND if you go barefoot enough your feet are going to be less likely to get cut anyway. I've stepped on a thumbtack before and it didn't even go in as deep as a lancet.

Totally understand how you are feeling. I only started getting the same emotions when I started getting into control.

The positive point is that you wouldn`t have these thoughts if you didn`t care about your diabetes. For me it has been 6 years ago that I have been woken up by somebody trying to feed me candy in the morning, still I fear that it will happen tomorrow again. But I am trying to keep a mental balance too, giving myself credits for the things that go well. There are enough moments that are not good, for example getting a hypo when I first met my new neighbours, or getting a hypo during a meeting I had at work with a senior vice president. On those occasions the negative feelings come up very quickly, looking for positives in other situations will help you through.

Hey Stonefish. Totally know how you feel, man. I have those days. Sometimes to often. Take it one step at a time. it can all bog us down. But think of it this way: Today is just today. So take a day to let the stress go and the anger and frustration and the worry. Let it all go today. Do something to enjoy the day. Anything. Something spontaneous, something you like, something that makes life fun. Then tomorrow, you'll remember why it is you do what you do to stay healthy. You'll wake up and think, "man, that was so much fun yesterday. I want to do it again soon, I better be healthy to do it again." and you will be healthy, and you will be happy and you will feel like it's worth it. We all got your back, man. We all want you to do well, 'cause when you do, on a tough day, We all want to, 'cause you did it. And you proved to us all that you could.

So after all that i got one question for you...so, how you feelin'? :-)

How long have you had diabetes? It is always stressful, but with time the episodes of "tired" rear their ugly head less often. It is so matter of fact with all my friends, that no one thinks to ask "so how ya feelin." And my wonderful spouse often sleeps in the other room when I have a CGM buzzing (mine is on vibrate) night. (I think he could be in the basement and still here it.) He has retrieved me from work and the paramedics several times over the last 36 years of marriage, or had them at the house. He is fairly confident I can survive. That is OK with me. I hate to worry him.

This is a great place to feel better. Talking to like minds can really make a differnce. If it continues, check with your doc. Depression is often part of diabetes. I know.

It's true time does weigh heavy when it comes to living with a chronic disease like Diabetes. But living with this disease into the senior years can contribute to the load. In our senior years we have senior physical problems that adds to the weight. My My D is well managed but it's the senior infirmatives that are adding to the every day problems.

Thanks all! I have turned the page and recommitted.

COming from someone who totally has those days too (what Type 1 doesn't!!), I have to say, don't live your diabetic life in fear of all of the ominous things that are waiting to destroy you. I think that's one of the worse things that we can do. One of the best things we can do too, to reign in the control, is check out stress levels. So go barefoot sometimes! :)

I’ve only been a T1 diabetic for two years. Talk about a life changer. I was working full time and 50 hrs a week husband and father of 5. Just can’t do it all any more.

I read right now that you are in a "mood." Don't worry .... there will be more. I'm not kidding - just warning you. It is a roller coaster life we lead.

Let me introduce myself ... I am "Possible Future." I am what this disease could cause you to be. If you aren't familiar with me, just look at my site and try to follow my steps in my blogs and discussions. My name is Lois. My spirit at the presenr moment is a bit trampled upon because of all the #@##!~!# piles being dumped on me. I have come through almost 4 years of cr%%. Not quite ending in a below-the-knee amputation! Some people will praise me for my strength and courage, some say "so what" and I say "oh c*ap, more do-do is hitting the fan." I've been in 3 different "homes" 4 times. I really can't take any more of this ----! I got out of one nursing home to spend about 4 months in my new apartment only to end up in the current nursing home for rehab. Going on 6 full months, they are talking about putting me in a group home, community-based rehabilitation facility or accessible living place. I haven't blogged on this season of my life yet because I'm still trying to convince them I can't survive a "facility." Not my nature.

Moral of story: You've met someone from a possible future for you. I'm not a "perfect example" for a diabetic but more of a "ghost of life to come!" Come -- follow me down the murky path of what not to do.

I'm not trying to be a downer - just an eye opener. There are many good things coming out of my site's journey. It's just up to you to find them!

Love and lots of warm hugs to a new friend,

Lois