I try to think positive so the negative thoughts don’t get the better of me but I can’t help but think my body might not bounce back.
It seems less then forgiving and is falling apart.
Some things in my life I’ve learned to accept with time and on my worst days I was still grateful,knowing the rain would stop and there was still something to live for.
And now,I just don’t know
All I can think of is another hospital visit and they won’t let me leave and I lose everything.
Career,friends and finances
Too many years of toxic levels of highs are taking there toll.
Not trying to bum anyone out or solicit sympathy
Just worried so much I feel like throwing up all the time.
Haven’t told any friends or family and my co workers don’t even know I’m diabetic
It is good that you are reaching out and I think the next step is to come up with a plan and try and take some control over this thing. It’s a difficult disease for anyone to deal with, but even more difficult if you are having terrible blood sugars all the time and don’t feel like you have any control over them, or that nothing you do will make a difference. What have you been in the hospital for? Low blood sugars or DKA? What is your current treatment plan, injections or pump? Do you find it isn’t working for you and have you tried other options or insulins? Are you testing in the morning, before and after meals, at night, and making adjustments for bad numbers? Do you have a diet plan of any kind? Are you carb counting? Have you sought out other treatment or diet options if what you are doing isn’t working? Have you considered a very low-carb diet? I think these are the things you need to think about if you haven’t already.
My mom has made the joke that once she hit the age of 50, she became a maintenance problem. Honey, I was a maintenance problem by 25!!! After all I’ve been through, my eyes are twice my age!!!
It sucks to feel stuck in a holding pattern. Waiting, twiddling your thumbs, hoping the treatment plan works and you end up able to stand when you make it through the other side. I know. I’ve been there. It’s so hard to refuse the pessimism.
And it’s okay to let it in once in a while. It’s human. We wouldn’t know how to revel in the positive if it weren’t for the negative. Let it happen, give yourself time to feel it and process it, but don’t let it take up long-term residence. There is always a way. The rain always stops.
Hi John, I hope you are feeling a bit better. I can relate to how you feel, although I have not had to go into the hospital for diabetes. This weekend I felt very down, I found out there is mold in my new home only 2 months old. The builder did not take the tape of the vents in the crawl space after furnace installed and mold has been growing for 4 months. Now remediation of crawl space.
I slept a lot and rested. I forced myself to take a few walks for 15-30 minutes, this helped. I went to yoga today and felt so much better. I wonder for you if a new doctor, a change in medication, some type of change might help. I hope the sun is shining and wish you health and peace!
Power of positive thoughts!
Hang in there. The fear of what the future may hold is the worst. I’ve been there and have struggled with it over the years. Keep fighting the good fight!! It does get better.
Lots of words of wisdom from others here. We can all empathize. This can be a very lonely disease, and all the stigma and ignorance from those who don’t have it can make it more difficult. Don’t try to solve it all at once. We all understand how overwhelming that can feel. Rather, focus on the little victories. This group is a great source of nuts and bolts advice, as well as a good place to vent. We’re all here to help each other. One of the silver linings of diabetes is that it is one of the few chronic conditions that you can control. But its a process, with its own set of setbacks and surprises. I think many, if not most of us, have learned more from each other than most of the medical practitioners we encounter. Feel free to reach out to any and all of us for how we’ve navigated the bumps in the road. We’ve all been there.
I know that this post is already a day-old, but this seems to be the theme of my day today. I don’t have any great answers for dealing with the mental aspects of this. There are a lot of tools that are available and techniques that we can learn. But just like everything else with diabetes, we each have to dig down inside and find for ourselves the strength and motivation we need every day.
As for your concern about ever being back to anything like you used to be. I completely understand. I have thought the same thing. I started out on a course to attempt to reverse and mend the damage from complications. No encouragement or hope that I would be successful. But it has worked for me and I am back to about 85% of what used to be normal for me. Which is pretty good considering that I started out about 20%. It is long, slow and tedious, but I can say now that it was worth it.
If you are looking for an inspirational story you will certainly find that in dr. Bernstein, I’m reading his book at the moment and was amazed that he was already suffering complications when he took control of his diabetes so many years ago at a time when home monitoring metres were not even yet widely available. He has managed to live a long healthy life and even reverse complications. His diet plan is not realistic for everyone but based on his accounts it does seem to be really beneficial. I have read posters on here advocate it also. I’m trying to take a modified version of his plan to improve my control as I know I don’t have the discipline to follow his recommendations strictly, but reading his story has given me a starting point to try to get back on track.
I tried the meal plan also but started to experience wicked headachès and extreme lows at night.
Cutting back dosage didn’t remedy so I added few more caŕbs
I liked his book
Related to some ofit
Thanks for the encouragement Randy5
It’s scary when facing and accepting the complications of this thing and worrying about it only seems to compound the problem.
Idk if I will improve with the passing of time but I will still move forward,hopefully into improvement and not disarray.
Yoga has helped me to deal with anxiety, stress, worry, and to improve my ability to relax. When I go to the yoga studio, the stress just disappears, I get exercise, but the meditation and relaxation, clearing my mind, have helped me so much in my life, especially the past 5 years, I have increased my yoga to 5-6 days per week. Everyone has their own outlets, I suppose, biking, running, some form of exercise.
I believe that the yoga asanas also improve my circulation, inversions, head stand legs up the wall, help the blood flow. I find it more powerful the more I practice. Namaste! (Peace!)
I have thought of yoga,anything to keep me ballenced seems mandatory but idk.
I think I would feel out of place
well i encourage you to look online for studios near you. i moved here a year ago and found a studio about 7 miles away. there are lots of different classes, slow yin, mainly restorative on floor, there are fast classes very aerobic, there are hot yoga classes, I like with heat and humidity that I really sweat and very cleansing, we have yoga towels that lay on the yoga mat, there are many kinds and styles. Most studios offer a variety of classes.
Students range from teens to people in their 70s…many walks of life. you don’ t have to socialize, mainly I don’t and it is an internal practice. But also I have met some good friends at yoga classes. I encourage you to try it, nothing to lose. many studios offer intro deals like 25$ for 25 days, or reduced classes. Punch cards…I do a monthly pass. No one judges, no good bad right wrong! The philosophy of yoga is open to everyone…I have done yoga in many states over the years, now in Colorado. Let me know if I can answer any questions. I swear it has changed me inside and out and if not for yoga, I would like have had major cardiac problems from panic attacks years ago. I live a pretty quiet life now that kids are grown and I am living alone. Yoga is the best part of my day, I leave feeling a million times better than when I walked in, never fails.
also, forgot to mention, there are usually classes for beginners and there are always people new just learning. all levels and no judgment, I believe you will like it. I have a friend and her daughter committed suicide last year. She was only 16, I encouraged my friend to start yoga and she now loves it. she was a runner but the yoga has helped her with the stress and loss of her daughter. My daughter is also doing yoga now, she is 17. This girl was her best friend, and my daughter has dealt with depression and anxiety in losing her best friend. The yoga is helping her very much! Best to you please think about it and I hope you will visit a studio and try a class! you can call ahead and talk to the owner/manager about different types of classes too…
Do you think some of the positions (bead below the heart) will further agitate my retinopathy?
Hi John, Best to ask your doctor. I am sorry you are dealing with retinopathy. I don’t know what the restrictions are for it. Perhaps talking to your doctor to find out. If you can’t do inversions, ask the doctor about yoga and if you can do some yoga, and if you have any restrictions. I read something the other day about eye drops coming out soon for eye issues related to diabetes…
My eye doctor doesn’t want me to do inversions in my yoga practice, but that may have more to do with my glaucoma than the retinopathy.
And it doesn’t mean I can’t do yoga. I actually designed myself a modified Sun Salutation that uses no inversions.
There are ways to modify most positions. Ask your eye doctor about your limitations, then talk to the yoga instructor before class about how to modify for those limitations. If they know before hand they will remember and help direct you during class.