TuD seems less friendly these days

In recent weeks, it feels like the forum has become more snarky and much less friendly than it used to be. I suppose all things evolve over time. I'm just sorry to see the feel of this site change so much. Then again, it may just be my perception. When I first came here, I truly felt like no question was too silly, no problem too big or too small to share in the quest for assistance in managing this disease. Everyone was trying to help and judgment was left at the door. I hope newcomers still feel that way because there is so much useful information to be shared here. It's hard enough trying to navigate the D waters without feeling like you're having to dodge sharks in a place that's here to help.

I understand exactly what you mean honey. I feel as if in the “real world” Im judged every day for diabetes being connected to me. I don’t take it personally here because I know first hand diabetes can make you moody! Especially a hormonal woman like myself. :wink: Some people vent by trying to cultivate a reaction from other people, this reaction can be negative or positive and some love to feel as if they are undermining another’s inteligence simply because well…we’re people and none of us have it all together, especially when it comes to the “D Monster” :slight_smile: I hope you have a wonderful weekend, thank you so much for your support.

I'm sorry you feel that way about TuD. Our family is for the most part a very compassionate bunch. Beside being diabetic we are all just normal people of all types.

Disagreement is not unusual in any large group because not everyone shares the same views. Disagreement is OK as long its done in a respectable fashion. I hope that no one has been unkind to you. If that's the case I and the rest of the administrators of this site would like to know about it, you or anyone else can contact us by clicking on the contact us link at the bottom of every page.

It is weird that you can't send a personal message without being "friends." Wanted to send a pm to you, Shadow, but can't without that stupid "friend" process. I don't know a soul on here so I am not sure how a person would want to accept a friend request from a total stranger. Perhaps there should be another word instead of friend as I take that meaning literally.

Will just add here the end of a long message I started to post and then deleted:
It could be interesting to create a forum for a "moderate management/doing the best I can" group. And it would only allow supportive, encouraging comments (& positive problem solving) and not preaching about what the posters should be doing. But that is just me and I am definitely an exception/outsider here! [in part of deleted message I did praise the large supportive group on here; many are consistently great supporters & others come through with informative facts to share. Note "facts!"]

Sometimes people write stuff that has an unintended contrary effect. This two-dimensional medium doesn't have the bandwidth of face-to-face and it's easier for misunderstandings to take place.

The tenor here is usually considerate, but in any human interaction feelings can become chafed.I hope you continue to participate!

There are other ways of seeing things. Like each day when you wake up and check yourself it isn't always the same number. Also wherever you go, people are always different.
I signed up for this years ago and never really found anything interesting. then earlier this year, I started back. and now I like it. the website is the same but people are always different. I found in the chat the best thing to do, is bring up something you want to talk about. mold in. My personality is different. I make the best out of everything. If something is not right, say so.
Remember it is a website for people like us. have fun even when it is dirty. make muc out of the dirt, and throw it and have fun. (no I am not a kid hahaha)

I totally understand what you're saying. It's funny that you say it because I have been thinking the same thing myself. I had come to the conclusion that it was just me since I have a tendency to get hypersensitive when I'm stressed out or depressed (which I've been lately).

I think it might just be the mixing of many, many personalities. People think and speak all different ways and sometimes it is easy to misinterpret since writing is a bit lacking in such things as body language, vocal tone, facial expression, etc.. LOL

Some people can come off as rude, blunt, cold, etc. when all they intended was to pass on some knowledge or information. It's tough on a site like this because so many people come here already hurting and searching for aid; these people many times need to be dealt with in a more sensitive and warm manner...and some people just don't come off that way.

I for one still find TuDiabetes to be the most warm and accepting diabetes community. I am a member of many others and find them to be full of truly rude and loathsome individuals...I can't for the life of me figure out why they are part of a diabetes community if they only want to fight and argue with their own people.

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I think that the chatroom pulls some of the friendly kibbitzing, hanging out, what used to remind me of a cocktail party "hey, yo, whassup?" "how many carbs are in wasabi anyway?? LOL" out of the message board as the group of chatters who would be chatty here are now chatty there. I know all the chatters love the chatroom but I think that it pulls that out. I thought that some new folks have been pretty warmly received when they put themselves out there, e.g. Madison's interesting threads. Perhaps we should turn chat off for a couple of weeks and see what happens? *ducks to avoid rotten tomato barrage from chatters...*

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Just want to say that as a new member I have felt very welcome and also appreciate how helpful I have found many of the discussions.

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I would very much fall within the "moderate management/best I can" group and would gladly join. :-) Yes, the "friend" thing can be a bit off-putting and I've avoided it for the most part. I think it really means something more like "connection" than friend.

Very good thoughts from all. I think it may simply mean I'm spending too much time online. But no, it's not any one thing any one person said, just an over all feeling. Honestly, it feels that a few very loud voices who think they've found the answer to everything are drowning out the friendliness and the "your diabetes may vary" attitude that usually prevails. A reminder to me that the only constant is change, in D and in life. Also a reminder that expecting understanding from everyone is a certain setup for disappointment. So I will strive to understand myself and interact with those who don't rain on my parade. :-)

You can send a message without being friends if you click the person's page/ avatar thingy, it will take you to their page and there's a "send a message" option that works I think.

I am probably horrible about looking at all posts as "tactical problems" and tossing out "solutions" or ways to improve. I am always trying to improve though...

I'm so glad! I found TuD the week after my diagnosis and it was a shining ray of hope in what seemed to be the darkest hour possible.

Yes, even in the midst of feeling like it's changed, I have to say TuD is a far warmer place than almost anywhere else in the cold, hard online world.

My take on this is that TuD has not only gotten bigger, but reaches across many diverse cultures, that said...not only can you not hear the voice tone, but also the phraseology may mean something entirely different to another culture.
I want to give folks the benefit of the doubt, and as was mentioned...if something is amiss, I report it.

I think we've all been a little preoccupied by the migration and by multiple discussions of Afrezza. I'm glad for all this new information, and I do think we'll soon be getting back to normal. If you've forgotten to communicate with a TuD friend lately, time to start up again!

When you click the link on the person's page, it gives you the message you must be friends to send a message.

That's true Shadow...the message is sent hand in hand with a request for friendship. I have done that on occasion when greeting a new member who had their page sent to "private". I was able to thus send a brief welcome along with a link. If the person does not respond to the request I, in time, delete it. No harm done.

lol acid!! I always toss FRESH tomatoes!

I understand how you feel shadow and have felt the same way lately myself, so no, it’s not just your perception. There are still positive, supportive voices here but the general tenor has shifted for some reason, hopefully it will shift back because the site was certainly an important part of my diabetes education and I know that Manny’s vision was that it would always be a place where anyone with blood glucose challenges would feel welcomed.