My earliest memory of my mother is waking up from a nap while she was having an insulin reaction. She was growling and if I remember correctly she attempted to bite me. Being somewhere under 4 I thought this was a funny game. Somebody I don't know who called the paramedics for her and the other memories of that day are her being taking down the steps in a stretcher being wheeled out to the ambulance growling and barking at everyone. She did succeed at biting a EMT. This is one of the few memories of Ridgefield CT. I have watched my mother get worse with her Diabetes, grown up taking care of her. Finder her unconscious or in the mornings finding her thrashing in a seizure, was not uncommon. The term "Mom's Goofy" was a daily utterance in my parents house and still is.
I was hospitalized 2 weeks ago and diagnosed as a late onset type 1 diabetic. I am dealing OK with this I guess. I can handle the constant worry of my blood sugar being to high or low. Probably testing my Blood sugar to much but I'm new at this and getting a feel for what my body is telling me. I can handle the change in my diet I should of been eating healthier years ago. I can handle my 4 shots a day.
The education of what diabetes is and what I would have to do to remain alive was not a problem for me. There was a few times in the hospital talking to the staff about my condition when I felt like rolling my eyes. Time I wanted to scream "I know this ■■■■. I grew up taking care of a diabetic.". I just wanted to know how much and how often. I knew how to test my sugar, I knew how to draw a shot. I knew how and where to give one. I will admit I only had a rough idea of how and what to eat since my mother just eats crap and doesn't seem to want to take care of herself.
So much has changed. I am doing good on eating and keeping a schedule with my meals and shots. I am so far keeping good control of my sugar, some high spikes but not staying high long term. Only a few very few lows nothing drastic. But the thoughts going through my head. I don't want my girls growing up taking care of me. I don't want them to have early memories of me being taking away to the hospital. I don't want them to have memories of me acting like someone on a bad acid trip. I don't want them to live in fear of me or for me. I don't want to become a virtual shut in like my mother or having to burden others like she has done. Most of all I don't want my girls to become diabetic. I know that they have a 10% higher chance then I did to get it
I'm afraid of many things now, ending up like my mother is the biggest fear. Losing my mind is another I have seen it with my mother. Studies have found a link between low blood sugar and Alzheimer's with people with type 2 diabetes but I would not be surprised if it was found with type 1 as well since low blood sugar is low blood sugar. I have watched a family member loose her leg from infection and running high. I am scared of my sugar crashing when I sleep and having seizures or slipping into a coma.
I know I can have a "normal" life, I am just going to be on medication for it. I know there is not much I cant do just have to make accommodations for my condition. I have to learn something every day figure out what is safe to eat and how to safely do what I want. I have good support and knowledge from family and friends which is a blessing many do not have. I am still scared at the moment but hey this is new to me.
Much has changed in the line of diabetes care since the time you were four, and how your mom took care of her diabetes! So good that you’ve found the tu.diabetes family. Such a supportive place to be! Keep in touch Jim!
It is going to be okay. Your example was difficult. Your execution of the lifestyle will undoubtedly be more cognizant of your care. I would bet you are very motivated not to put your daughters through your experience. These are the things that shape our behaviors. You are doing the right things and we all have unexpected highs. Testing aggressively is never a bad thing – knowledge is power and you are going to ease up once you have a bit of confidence. There is a getting acquainted period. In the beginning it is a bit overwhelming and luckily all of the possibilities will not happen at once. TuD is a great resource and the folks here are very supportive and here you know they actually DO understand. You don’t have to do this alone, having something like D can be a bit isolating. You found this place and it’s a great resource. When I first found TuD I thought I had found the keys to the kingdom and I had been a diabetic for 33 years already. You are not doomed to repeat your parent’s experience. You are already way ahead of the game.
hey, you’ll get through this for you and for your kids. There is so much technology and advances with Diabetes. I have some of those memories too watching my uncles struggle with their DIabetes and me being a little girl having it. I’ve had it for 22 years now and I’ve had so many frustrating days but you get through them and my kids make me keep a clear head, don’t let the disease take over you, you conquer it, good luck!
Jim, best wishes for an easy transition to life with the D. When you’re ready look at an insulin pump, it really made life easier for me. I’d strongly recommend Wil Dubois’ book Taming the Tiger - Your First Year with Diabetes, I wish it had been around when I was first diagnosed.
If you need any help, please ask. For me, direct messages work best.
Jim, your post tells me you will never be as your mother was with then disease. You clearly take is seriously and care about what this means to your family. What you describe of your Mom is a description of someone who did not manage the disease. But you talk of the changes you have already made. You are already so far ahead of where your mother was in managing the disease. It does get easier to manage and easier to accept emotionally. You also have reached out for support. That is huge! You are already surging ahead toward a healthy life with diabetes. Take the time to laud your successes to date,
Your poor mother probably did not have access to the newer insulins, glucometers or to a continuous blood glucose monitor, such as you have today. You will be able to manage your diabetes, even if it is more difficult to control (such as your mother’s case) by using a continous monitor. Whenever my niece’s blood sugars become difficult to control, we just use the Dexcom. It really makes all the difference in the world and for the most part, her blood sugars are in good control without having to use it. But there are times when it is necessary to use it. You will never have to go through what your mother had to, so please don’t worry. You are going to be okay.
It’s not that I hate my mother it is more resentment and frustration. She doesn’t take care of herself and ignores it or say it’s not her fault. I have watched her deteriorate and basically become a shut in. Ask her to do volunteer work, to get her out of the house and I get no one would want me I’m a diabetic. Tell her she needs to eat better go at least whole grain that she needs to eat better and she continues to eat M&Ms all day long. I ask if she ever thought about talking to a councilor or shrink, “I’m not crazy”. I ask her why she doesn’t try valerian root to sleep in stead of a six pack and 3 different kinds of sleeping pills and pain killers “herbs don’t really work”. It just pains me to watch her basically kill herself when she knows what to do. My father enables her she sleeps through her morning shot my father has to get up ever day test her and inject her, she refuses to even think about the pump. Oh the list could go on. I just can’t stand watching people let themselves go. I have cut off friends who where addicts and refused to help themselves just can’t do that with family.
Of course you don’t hate your mom, and you’re so right…your mom needs counseling, she sounds depressed. I’m relieved to hear that you’re moving in the right direction. You know firsthand of the pitfalls.
my friend…I am soooo with you. I am also newly diagnosed and as a single mom worry when i say my nighttime prayers if I will awaken - or if they’ll ‘find me’. i worry that i have brought them into this world predisposed for diabetes. With NO ONE in my family having diabetes, I am still perplexed…where did it come from…Jesus Christ, I’m 55 years old – why now???
I promise from my heart of hearts that you will not experience the things your mom did - it seems to be a ‘new day’ with diabetes --with support groups, with different meds, with better treatment and diagnoses.
I am here for you if you ever want to talk -
I am Kat
678.485.8413
Yep I am hoping my girls take after their mother’s side. My family medical history is terrible, the two I worry most about are the big D and Muscular Dystrophy(which I know may or may not devolpe I know I carry the gene).
