I met a beautiful young teenage girl this weekend at a class called “Diabetes Burnout”. It was clear that her mom had dragged her there because she had the “I’m too cool for diabetes” attitude. She had been in the hospital three times with DKA–one of those times she was in the ICU for 9 days! She blood sugars were consistently in the 400s and her A1C was somewhere around 14. She didn’t want a pump because she refused to be attached to a machine all the time.
So here’s the question: what will it take for her to get motivated and start taking care of herself?
I was exactly where that girl was, in and out of hospital, not looking after myself. The only time I looked after myself apart from when I was diagnosed, was when I became pregnant, so weird, I didn’t feel like it was my own body anymore, so I couldn’t just do what I wanted. My A1c’s were perfect then.
I think as a teenager, one just wants to forgert about being D, I was also very angry about it all, I hated something telling me what to do. Hopefully she’ll come through without any major complications.
This is not a question about pumping or not, but about the perception of your own worth. Especially girls are known to use their T1 against themselfes. Very often this should punish their parents or it helps to vent inner pressure. The reason behind this behaviour maybe justified but it ignores the fact that the consequences of bad control can not be easily repaired. I would compare it with anorexia - going down the spiral until total defeat. I would advice that this girl should seek psycologigal help - which is easier said than done.
Even with psycological help it’s difficult. I do agree with you, its a form of self-abuse. Most young men act out, whereas girls turn their anger on themselves.
I agree, Stephen, except for the case of diabulimia, which seems to be more akin to a mental illness. The most disturbing thing I read (ha-ha THIS week) is that very troubled young women, “who frequently skip inslin injections for the purpose of weight control” die at an average age of 36.
As has been suggested, she needs time, she needs to mature, and more than anything, she could stand to see a therapist. That class, while probably ripe with great information, isn’t going to help someone who isn’t ready and willing to use the info they get there. Counseling would enable her to explore her negative feelings about her diabetes with someone who isn’t going to judge her for having an A1c in the teens. Unfortunately, for most people in situations like hers, people either can’t find a therapist who is knowledgeable enough about the complex psychological issues that can come with diabetes, or no one ever recommends they even engage with a therapist, so the non-compliance is seen as a bad choice the person is making instead of a manifestation of those aforementioned psychological issues.
I agree - I was in total denial, and self abuse and the attitude “that it won’t happen to me”…I constantly kept my weight under 120 lbs by diabulimia. I too was told that I would not live to see 30 - I have now had D for 55 years. I don;t know what wakes you up, to smell the coffee - I was pregnant twice and have two wonderful healthy children, I took care of myself while pregnant but afterwards was into the diabulimia thingie…the pump and the CGM over the last few years have helped me immensely. I honestly don;t know why I am here…
Sheila
Hi, Mari, great discussion here. I was just remembering a discussion called “worst diabetic ever” - here - and how the community responded with some really excellent comments, so I thought I’d bring it back.
she needs to become aware that she’s the only one in control of hr disease, once out of highschool she’s on her own. Parents and friends will be good support but they can’t make you do what you have to do. She does need somebody to talk to, perhaps the friendly people at Tudiabetes! She can find a a friend or an adult to talk to about this kind of stuff. it’s really important she realizes that only she can make herself feel better, but that with the help of her family she can get through the hard stuff (lows, counting carbs,). Maybe she could check out some books when she gets comfortable enough. But coming her will let her know she’s not the only one that’s struggling with diabetes, and that it’s normal not to be perfect, but important to try and keep in good health. I think role reversal would be a interesting activity for her to try on her parents about her diabetes. I know you said she’s been in the hosptial alot, i bet she doesn’t see how that strains the family (time taken out for work, bills piling up, frustrated parents, school missed out = bad grades). They need to show her that there are consequences to all of her actions, and that she affects her family in good and bad ways. Hence the role play. Good luck
Thank goodness Sheila, it is so difficult for young girls with all the pressure from the media and even each other. Isn’t it funny how the maternal instinct takes over while pregnant. I suppose diabulimia goes hand in hand with anorexia, skipping injections is just another method to lose weight, I believe that anorexia/bulimia/dibulimia are all part of the same thing, they are all forms of mental illness/.unhappiness. I think it is far more widespread than anyone, especially the medical prof. are aware of, it is a very secretive illness.
I was in a situation once where I “HAD” to go to some classes. I didn’t let anyone think that I bought into what they were saying, but actually, things sunk in. Those things came back to me and over time I did the changing I needed to do. I"m hopeful that this young girl is absorbing something from the class and maybe comparing things in her life to what she is hearing. I also hope that they bring in some of her peers to speak.
living with diabetes through my teen years were hard. i don’t even think hard is a good enough word to describe it. it’s such a struggle. maybe she needs more one on one help. as a teen i absolutely hated those workshops. i don’t think they are right for teens especially those who are having a hard time accepting the fact that they need to care about themselves. i’m not saying this to make anyone upset here but everytime i went to a class as a child then teen it was always old and overweight people there. i would often think “geez what’s wrong with me? i’m not like any of these people. my life is so different.” i felt more alone than ever at those classes and learned nothing because i was so bummed that i couldn’t relate. she needs to find someone who is also diabetic and around her age that wants to be her friend first with the added fact that they are both diabetic. she needs someone she can laugh and cry with. she needs someone she can stay up with until 2 in the morning talking about being diabetic. i’m going to take a wild guess that sending her to a shrink isn’t going to work. as soon as i heard the words “i know how you feel” come out of any doctors i was seeing i’d make my mom switch my doctor.
i don’t know your age mari but maybe you could be that friend or you can help find someone her age that is diabetic for her to hang out with. support makes all the difference in the world. as soon as she can let all of those hurtful feelings out, she will be on a road to better health
Amanda, I am totally with you. There were a TON of overweight, very unhealthy and unsightly people there. In fact, there was only a very small handful of young type 1 diabetics there. I gave her and her mom my info but was foolish and didn’t get hers. I’m really hoping and praying that she will contact me so I can be the one to stay up til 2 am with her. I’m 24 and didn’t become a diabetic til I was 23, but I think she and I would get along very well. If she ever calls, I’ll let you know Thanks for the input.
mari-i hope you can get in touch with her!! it would be great for both of you. maybe the people in charge of the class can get you her info?? i know there are all kinds of privacy laws now but you never know, they might let it leak.
