A bingers dream and a diabetics nightmare

So, today is food day at work. There is so much food here it is ridiculous. It really is a bingers dream and a diabetics nightmare. I've managed to stay with veggies and fruit so far, but everything out there is so tempting. I called my dad this morning bawling because of it all. And to top it off people keep giving me candy and cookies as gifts. Those are like the worst things for a diabetic.

I'm fighting off a panic attack....you add in having an eating disorder and today is one of the hardest days ever.

Why? Why does this have to be so hard and why do I have to deal with this stupid disease?

Hon, you are going to face this every holiday season. Especially as a newly diagnosed diabetic. It takes a while for it to sink in. But that being said, you aren't never to have any treat. It's just that you can't go face down into the box of cookies. The thing about diabetes is moderation. MDI and dose calculation allow you a certain amount of freedom to enjoy a christmas cookie or some other treat. You just have to estimate (or weigh the item) and figure out what you need to give to cover the treat. Don't go crazy and graze the dessert table.

Forgive the others for not realizing that you can't have all of the things they bring you. They are trying to be thoughtful in a non-pancreatically challenged way. We are pretty much odd man out at the buffet. When I started working at my current job, when we had office functions, I wouldn't be able to dive into the cake. I asked the administrator if it might be possible to get something besides a sweet thing. Next time there was a veg and cut fruit platter with some nice cheeses.

Why? Clincally: you have to deal with an insulin deficiency in your body caused by your immune system killing off beta cells which it things are foreign. Without treatment, you will suffer high glucose levels leading to weakening of blood vessels in the eyes and kidneys. If you don't deal with this disease in a responsible manner, you will feel rotten all the time, your eyes will fail and you will require kidney dialysis by the time you're 35. And with arterial schlorosis, you stand a risk of neuropathy (painful hands, legs and feet). From a reality stand point: it happened. Your genes have got certain switches that are not operating just right. I realize you didn't apply for this job but you got it anyway. There's no retirement, the benefits suck and no dental insurance. But you want to live and enjoy the most comfortable life you can. That requires we count our carbs, we figure our dose and we try to avoid as much unnecessary carbohydrate as possible. Management isn't a constant chorus of "no you can't" -- it's about how plan things. This is why diabetes management is self-directed treatment for the most part. Our doctors and educators give us the raw materials we need to do the job. We take that education and we apply it to our individual situations.

Holidays are something you will still have to deal with. They aren't placed on the calendar to vex you, but we as diabetics need to work out a strategy. If there's something you seem to not be able to resist, maybe you can share with someone else. At dinner and folks order dessert, suggest a couple of different desserts and enough spoons for everyone. You can have a bit of each and it won't send you into the 500s.

You can do this. Just try to let go of the emotional angst that is surrounding this. We sometimes feed the beast unnecessarily. Take a breath and a step back. The frosted cookie is the shark, the insulin is your protective cage. You can enjoy swimming with the sharks, but they can't hurt you in your protective cage. Carbs are kind of like sharks. They aren't all dangerous.

This kind of thing takes a little practice. Each year the service I use to file documents with the courts gives me a box of See's Candy (Nuts and Chews). It's on my desk for everyone to enjoy. Even me. When I really think about it, one piece a few hours apart isn't going to upset the apple cart.

If you ingest, test. Correct if necessary. Repeat as often as you need to.

If you can't discipline yourself to moderate your intake, it's best to leave well enough alone. But if you can be moderate, this isn't meant to be a punishment.

no clue why but you’re doing great. is there a way for you to excuse yourself from this today and be away from the temptation? (hell read a bunch of blogs here - it even looks like you’re working)

Oh… :frowning: I feel you, Michelle. I am a binge eater, myself… and I struggle so much sometimes. Today, I had a job interview… and it was just an interview… but I still got offered food! I don’t know WHY we have to focus so much on food in our society. But you are doing really well… and the therapies will help you deal with all this stuff, and all the self introspection we must do to really heal. Can you toss food when no one’s looking? I’ve done that, before… lol

I feel your pain. Friends have a big trim-the-tree party every year & it's just desserts. Tables creaking under the weight of goodies. My husband's colleagues have Christmas parties. Temptation & more temptation. I eat before going, so I'm not hungry. Don't want to insult the hosts & put food on my plate that I don't eat. Too many people to notice what I'm doing.

You're doing great!

SF Pete

That is one of the best descriptions I have read about how to perceive diabetes. I loved the facts , which help me to put the emotions in the right place. For me, that has always been the struggle. The times when my emotions win, are when my numbers reflect that decision. You are right. Moderation is key. Along with calibrating insulin in response to whatever food choices I make while grazing over the holiday party table. I was once taught to review the entire table, and not decide anything until the review of the table was completed. I think it gives one more time to think through the choice. Thank you for reminding me of that. For me the emotions are the difficult part because they trigger choices that I may later regret. It is not the food, it is the emotion behind the choices behind the food. Kind of like a kid , just stomping and saying, i want it, and I want it now. I have to let my brain to the driving around the holiday table, not the kid just stomping. Have great holiday.

Our culture of hospitality and comfort is very food centric. We acquire some emotional attachments to food and you just can't get away from the fact that food is a comfort and good food is one of life's pleasures. It really puts a diabetic in a tight place. Culturally, people want to give you cookies. How many grandma's would make something tasty when they knew the grandkids were on their way over? (Not my grandmother, but I'm sure there were lovely grandmas out there.) It is very hard to decouple from that. Add to the mix the whole diabetes thing and you're in the middle of a really bad conflict. Your id is stomping it's feet and telling you that the package of Oreos has your name all over it. I'm sure there were times when I would fall off the wagon just to stick my finger in D's eye.

The holidays magnify this issue a thousand percent. Boxes of chocolates are floating around the office, people are baking Christmas cooking and bringing them in to share. Cannons to the left, cannons to the right -- all of them covered in powdered sugar. I'm not going to tell anyone that this is a walk in the park. It's not and to tell someone it's easy is doing them an injustice. It's good that we have a place to come to where people understand and get it exactly. And they will help.

SF Pete

Could not have said it better. Your writing is music to my ears. This is an especially tough time. I never thought of the food centric piece about our society and how we celebrate just about anything with food. It is used as comfort, giving, love, you name it. And Christmas amplifies the whole thing to a roaring crescendo. So, for me , I pick and choose. And give myself permission to really decide what I want. A piece of chocolate. Deal with figuring the bolus, basal calculations and praying my math is okay. Christmas, Thanksgiving, Valentine's Day, Halloween, are my tough holidays. I am so glad there are people who understand the second layer to celebrating the holiday. As in the myriad choices we have to make, and choosing the consequences once our hand gets what is about to go into our mouths.