Dear All it will so kind of you if you can let me know what is the specaified age for getting married after you have an attack of type 1 Diabetics.As I have just started my carrier and business . So response is good but still not upto my expectation . But my parents are forcing me to marry as soon as possible .As they say we cannot wait anymore now. But i still want sometime ,my current age is 28.So please advise on the same .As i m facing big troble from my doctor and parents for getting married as soon as possible.
Oh , my you may not like my answer 
…I got married at 44 plus , after being diagnosed with type 1 and having had a mastectomy …glad I waited this long …all the prospective men could not have handled these 2 major " events" .
I think Rajesh, that it’s hard for anyone not in your situation to give you an answer about this; and perhaps also for someone who IS in a similar situation. It seems you are caught between the traditions of your culture and your family, and your own wishes, which is always a hard place to be. I wasn’t clear what your doctor felt. Does he agree that marriage would be appropriate or does he feel you should wait for medical reasons?
A Type 1 diagnosis truly changes your life and there is a lot to learn and go through before you get to a place of comfort in managing this condition…If you ever really do! I can understand your not being ready to take on the responsibility of adjusting to married life at the same time! On the other hand, I could see how having a partner who is willing to learn about type 1 and to support you in your efforts could be very satisfying. I’m not sure if you are referring to an arranged marriage or a chosen partner. Either way, are you able to meet with her and talk with her about your concerns about your type 1? If your wife feels negatively or unable to cope with a husband with Type 1, better to find that out ahead of time, no?
Finally I don’t think we ever arrive at a place of perfection with our diabetes, though for most of us it does get easier with time. If you are waiting to marry until you feel you have it “all figured out” or because of some worry about how your wife will accept your being Type 1, those may not necessarily be reasons to hold off if you are otherwise ready to get married.
I hope I haven’t made it more confused - I just wanted to give you some things to think about.
I live in a different culture than you do, so my answer is different – you should get married when you meet the person that you would like to spend the rest of your life with and are ready. No one can answer the question of “when” except you. I went thru a rage of emotions when I was first diagnosed and even if I was with someone that I wanted to marry, it would not have worked had I married back then.
I am just guessing here but I have to wonder if your parents worry that now that you are diabetic, your health will deteriorate and you won’t be able to have kids. They probably want you to get married and start the kid process before you can’t. I don’t know what the outcome for diabetes is in India, but here, we can now live long, healthy lives. Plenty of diabetics become parents.
I am also confused about the doctor comment.
I don’t think there is an age for getting married even with Type 1. You go ahead and do what you want too. Let the other’s in your life think what they want to.
Dear Rajesh, Part of getting to know how one is doing in the business world is having time to explore it, grow in it, and enjoy some success. One is then ready to share the profits of that success. I am very direct, Rajesh.
I recommend that if you haven’t moved out of your parents house, do so, so they know you can’t be forced to do anything.
Tell your parents you want to have some good success BEFORE you start looking at the women for their potential in being your wife.
Tell them you know you’re breaking with their generation’s way of doing things, but they should be happy you are gaining confidence with each day, and you will be a person who can be head of a family when you choose to be.
Tell them that after you are established in your career, you will look for a wife who can share, talk the business talk, meet you where you are, mature enough to be ok with diabetes and the potentials for having children with it, too.
Doctors are certainly not urging someone to get married, are they? Tell your doctor that you are establishing yourself first, and HE’D want a woman who could be on a par with him and be mature, wouldn’t he.
We all make mistakes in choosing wives and husbands, but at least we can’t blame our parents if we choose our own! Tell them all that!
There is NO specified age for getting married when you have diabetes! Best wishes! !
I got married at 21… but T1 was not a part of that decision at all
Have you found & know well the woman you want to marry? How does she feel about all of this?
I sort of understand the parental pressure situation, my wife is Korean and we didn’t get married until we were in our late 20s but I sort of got some pressure from them at the time. I don’t think that there’s any medical reason to rush into it. The key thing would be to take control of the disease and not let it destroy your body.
If you are having a hard time controlling it, I am not sure how marketable you would be in the “husband market” too. In the other thread you posted a note indicating you don’t want to “do too much use of insulin” and that you are having trouble gaining weight. I can’t be sure what sort of regimen you are on but I think that being healthy and paying attention to your body, testing a lot and taking an appropriate amount of insulin for whatever food you are eating is critical if you have type 1 diabetes or really if you are human?
thanks a lot Zoe. I completely agree with you. If it would have been love marraige i would not be confused as she is the chossen one .But here conditions are different as this has to be arrange and as my parents say to hide my disease . SO this is making it confusing as what will happen when she knows and moreover right now i m looking for more time devotion to my business.
thanks kelly for the valuable response. Things are also best here in India.Its just out of apprehension Iknow my parents are in hurry. I can understand their condition as they are the parents andtheironly son is suffereing fromthis problem.BUt yes about kids I had a confusion which is really helped by your ans.
great leo. you the man.thanks for the reply.Reply like urs are like one of the solution i was looking . Thanks a ton.I will surely lok into it. And willcertainly lokuoto you formy future queries.
no not know .My parents are loking for her. And they want I should hide this from her and tell her after geting married.
thankyou rock.I understand your secound reply about inusln. I will make sure ill take the regular dose for better control.Acftually iwas having confusion that by taking insulin fron outside willproduce side effects in my body.
The side effects of high blood sugar are very dangerous that effect your eyes, kidneys, nerves, blood lipids. Please, you must take your insulin & in appropriate doses for what you eat. NOT taking sufficient insulin is courting disaster.
If you’re not sure how to dose insulin, people here will be happy to guide you. A wonderful book is Using Insulin by John Walsh.
How do you feel about hiding this from her? Not something I could do. Honesty should be the foundation of a relationship. It’s important to be with someone who’s supportive & understands.
In respect to your culture, Rajesh, I know people in arranged marriages get to know each other after the marriage. But I agree with with Gerri that his is something your wife should know ahead of time. It sounds like your parents feel diabetes is a shameful thing that you’d want to hide because it makes you a “damaged” person. Perhaps you can help them to understand that is not the case. Diabetes is a condition that takes time, attention and care, but given those things it can be managed and you can live a long and happy life filled with all the things that matter to you both: Love, happiness, home, successful careers, children, etc. And in years to come, discoveries being worked on today will make that management even easier and perhaps even find a cure. If your future wife and her family finds in you all the qualities they are looking for in a husband, that in no way changes because you have Type 1 diabetes. You are not less of a good man, person, husband and future father because you have diabetes.
Aside from honesty for its own sake, I would think your wife and her family would also have feelings of distrust and betrayal if they were to find out later. And it would only increase the impression that it is a terrible and shameful thing because you hid it. It is not. I know respect for elders is a part of your culture but I feel you need to stand up for how you feel about this.
Insulin has side effects. So does not taking insulin: Geri’s list is excellent but is by no means comprehensive. There’s a lot of stuff that can get adversely affected by hyperglycemia or elevated blood sugar. The main side effect of low blood sugar is hypoglycemia which can, unfortunately, be fatal. It’s not guaranteed and the antidote can be as simple as a small snack however it is wickedly powerful stuff. I run low fairly regularly and just fix it and move on.
The key to diabetes, as with many other things, is to balance the insulin with the food you eat. Avoiding food or looking for “replacement” foods (in your weight gain thread?) is not really the solution. The only solution is to try to balance. For me, it is also critically important not to look at numbers that are off as “failure”, as some mistakes, errors, strange events that can only be blamed on astrology, etc. are to be expected. I look at them as opportunities to do a great job figuring out where I made a mistake and figuring out a way to fix it so next time things work out more smoothly.
I was dxed as a teen and didn’t get married until I was almost 30, in fact I got married the same month I turned 30. I don’t believe our disease should decide when we get married it should have to do with are you ready for marriage…and do you have the person you want to marry.
The side effects from insulin come from taking too much or too little which makes your blood sugar low (hypoglycemia) or high (hyperglycemia). It takes time to learn how to dose as accurately as possible. I agree with Gerri about Using Insulin. You need to learn to count the carbs you are eating and how to match those carbs to insulin dose.