Yes, I know this topic has been posted to death, but sometimes you just have to vent to people who understand. I was chatting yesterday with the secretary at the community college where I teach. She said she was doing a correspondence course to get her degree and that it was on Health and Wellness. I told her I thought that was great (not the correspondence course part). She then went on to extol the virtues of raw food that she'd learned about in a book she waved. I didn't (don't) judge that but just cautioned to make sure she feels well as she isn't getting much protein. She told me that fruits and vegies have plenty of protein, waving the book around and I should have gotten the flavor of "a convert to a new way of thinking who has THE answer and isn't open to input that challenges it. I should have but I didn't.
As she continued talking about diet she got onto the topic of Diabetes (and that is definitely where I should have said, "I need to go start class!" She started talking about glycemic load and glycemic index and "the right carbs" at which point I told her I was a Type 1 diabetes and those things aren't that relevant to us. She didn't acknowledge my comment by saying "Oh, so you understand" or even "Oh". She then got off talking about how important it is to focus on other aspects of health such as sleep and stress. I then mentioned that I got my Masters in a place that very much emphasized health and I was familiar with wholistic concepts and agreed with her. No reaction. Next she pronounced that diabetics don't realize that they need to cut all the fat in their diet." That's about when I lost it, though I "kept it" to the extent that it's a very small campus and I work with her regularly, so I kept my tone calm. I briefly said dieticians traditionally emphasized fat reduction but for a Diabetic it's all about carbs as that's what raises blood sugar. She then went on to give a decent explanation of how fat delays the spike, but with little understanding of the context of how we use that information. She wasn't particularly interested in my explanation of this as it interrupted her spiel. OYYYYYYY!
I really don't mind ignorance; I'm a teacher and I don't mind educating. What I mind is people who don't "know it all" but think they do and want to have a monologue rather than a dialogue! I WILL NOT engage with S while in the office again, repeat...repeat.
It is so difficult to get through to the Low GI advocates that there is another way of life for so many people, diabetics, celiacs, the wheat and dairy intolerant, etc. Glad you kept your cool, though.
FANTASTIC ! I love this because I just a similar thing happen to me Monday at work. I was alone for 8 hrs with a non diabetic know-it-all that pulled out a video on how to eat. I kept my cool and entertained her for a little bit while she went on and on about things that "SHE" does and I should do to. I kept telling her I have work to do but she kept bringing it up at every importunity then she popped in the video on the computer to watch and cranked it up loud so I would here it. Obnoxious ... I truly wish people would stop forcing their views on others.
I'm definitely not alone, Gregg! How obnoxious! Yeah, I am tolerant of just about any view but can't stand when people say they have "the one right way".(whether D or anything else) I think a lot of the world's problems come from that type attitude!
Many of these people have emotional baggage, narisscistic tendencies, maybe even mental health "challenges", as you well know, Zoe. Their extensive non-empathetic, non-listening rants are to make themselves feel like they are knowedgable and important. It doesn't really matter to them what anyone else thinks. They could care less. They just want to hear themselves talk about a subject that they think they know everything about. I tend to just let them go on and on and mentally put myself in another space, not even commenting nor questioning what they say, I just say "hmm, I see" . They will not even notice that you are not listening.As I said before, having an engaged, participating audience doesn't matter to them. I agree, I would just say "Hi" and "bye" to her quickly and "keep on truckin'". However, if she persisted to follow/stalk me in order to continue her rants, I would say, with a smile on my face.: " I have spoken to you before about this subject. We can agree to disagree. Besides,You can talk about it FOREVER without any input from me,anyway. So I will leave you to your conversation with yourself, as I have work to do. Have a great day, sweetie!!" You are right, Zoe. Do not engage. The sweet sarcasm sentences I use tend to leave them with their own thoughts and gets you away. For such types, Speaking of What they know should render them mute. Unfortunately, it doesn't. So just get away. I would post the Youtube link to the old Earth, Wind, and Fire song, "Getaway", if I knew how. Great jam.
Well I should be ashamed because you two handle those types with the expertise that comes easy to me in my professional roles, but sometimes alludes me in personal encounters! This one took me by surprise, because though I haven't worked with this woman for long we've had a few casual conversations that seemed just fine. I know the type you mean for sure, and am always very brief with them. I think she has just discovered a whole new world that fascinates and excites her and is enthusiastically sharing it with little room for feedback or dissent. I will definitely stay off those topics with her!
Oh, that is something we have very much in common, Shawnmarie. I'm very aware that the need to help is a "prime directive" in me (as if that isn't obvious..lol). But I don't think much anymore about the need to be understood which is also deeply set in me. The two can form a "perfect storm". Thanks!
Thanks Shawnmarie, for the post and the music: Love that song!!! You are SO right.There are growth challenges nd opportunuities everywhere. God bless, Brunetta
Zoe, we( you I,Shawnmarie) all work(ed) in helping professions, and it is our very nature to help others.. I have found out that sometimes however, we do get so frustrated when others do not "get it". I discovered, while working in public schools, that I could not not help every child, nor light every candle. That is O.K. I just prayed that they would find the peace/guidance/help they needed from another source, then I let it go. I trusted that they would get their "enlightenment"' as it were/is/could be, and let them be who just they are Still do that when inbvolved with the I need to hear myself talk crew:.I internally jam to the old-school hits and gospel songs while I am "letting them be" in their rant-lol. Brings back the Beatles, Let it be!!
Yes, I too learned aways into my career to let go when I couldn't help someone. I also had the delightful experience of hearing people come back and say, "I remembered what you said to me five years ago, and I used it later on when I was ready."
