My girl friend and my life’s love that will gonna be my wife soon , is type 1 she is 22 and she is daibetic since about 10 years …our relation is something good …but i think she has some alterations in her emotions toward me from time to time and to the extent that she feel that she will not be able to make me happy and sometimes she feel so bad ,… especially that i think that all this is due to her alteration in blood glucose level as i think her mood may change sometimes to be bad and she dont understand the nature of her condition about that … i dont know how to explain that to her …i think that it may be not good but i think im always try to make her get rid of all her fears… i want our life to be happy and im searching for the master keys to make her happy and make me also happy in our future life…
i want these master keys …can any one give it to me …
by the way her BMI Is 29 and i think if she can get lose of her wieght it will be better isnt it …?
Wow, your letter is full of searching for the magic keys. I say “magic” because if you found such a key, it would be a miracle. There is no one magic key to touch your fiancee’s heart. She needs to come to terms with this disease and the tricks it plays on her emotions on her own. Of course, you can guide her along the way, but she must ultimately do it herself. This doesn’t mean that she will be on her own to accomplish this.
It is very real … this up and down with emotions. This is probably why she is saying sometimes that he can’t make you happy. She is aware of her problems and loves you too much to want to burden you with her disease. This is also a test for you. Can you handle it? Will you be strong enough for the both of you? Use this pre-wedding time to discover how you feel about her disease and your willingness to support her in all things. She needs to know that you will be there for her always.
Where do you live? Is there adequate support for diabetics? Can she get into a diabetes education program at a local hospital? Are you able to get her psychological counseling? All these things are important toward coming around to acceptance. Can you get her to come to this site and “talk” with people more experienced than me? Try it. She might like it!
My prayers will be with you. I don’t know if you are a spriritual person, buy it might certainly won’t hurt for you to pray for her.
Your girlfriend is fortunate to have such a kind & sensitive man loving her. Swings in blood glucose definitely effect our emotions. When someone (usually my husband) tells me that I’m in a bad mood because of blood sugar, it bothers me. Of course, moods happen without blood sugar problems & I don’t want everything I feel attributed to diabetes.
In what ways does she feel you won’t make you happy? We all have fears about diabetes. Do you think she’d be interested in joining Tu D? Or, just reading some of the threads? Perhaps seeing she’s not alone would help her. Many diabetics don’t know anyone else with diabetes. It’s isolating to have no one who truly understands.
As much as we love someone, they have to confront & overcome their own fears. No one can do this for another. All you can do, which is a lot, is be open, supportive & not judgmental, so she can express her feelings.
Yes, losing weight is helpful to controlling diabetes. Does she test often, go to the doctor regularly & eat well?
Dear Mohammed,
Mood changes are many times related to blood sugar swings. As a veterinarian, you’re well attuned to physiology. You’re also used to going after causes and therapies by reading. Does she also read English? If yes, put her onto reading about the low, low carbohydrate diets that Type 1 diabetics are following here at TuDiabetes. If she doesn’t read English, go after it yourself and work with her to attain understanding.
Read Jenny’s material - and her book online. Read the Dr. Bernstein material online - do searches on diets. 7.5 gm in the morning,(that means eating an egg, maybe some sausage) and if you’re eating 3 meals a day, keep the next 2 meals less than 30 gm carbohydrate each (this means high vegetable diet, low potatoes, low breads, some meat). 2 Snacks 7.5 gm daily. Get rid of carbohydrate stuff in the house that she cannot stop eating.
I agree with everything Lois LaRose says here, too.
Hopefully she’s on a basal insulin? Mild, not strong, exercise? Work together to set goals for a day, a week.
You haven’t said how her diabetes is being treated. You haven’t said what the influence of her women friends is on her. But it will get better and mood swings will smooth out, and the likelihood of complications will reduce if you both work together, as a start, to reduce those carbs. And her BMI will reduce and she’ll have more energy!
Best wishes!
