I think at this point I just need to vent. I saw my regular eye doctor a few weeks ago and based on what he saw, he wanted me to go have a dye injection test done to see if any blood vessels in my eyes were leaking. Went for that today and before the injection the dr looked and told me he saw what looked like quite a bit of damage. The test confirmed for him that I have what he called advanced diabetic eye disease. I am scheduled to start laser surgery next week to stop the leakage. He told me if this doesn't stop enough of it, I'll need some type of injections into the eye. I am so mad at myself right now. Anyone who has followed my other posts knows I have been running my sugars high for years out of anxiety, so the way I see it, I can only thank myself for causing this. I'm worried about how much worse it may get, and also worried about my control or inability to take control of my sugars to this point. Thoughts, recommendations, and anything else welcome.
Don't beat yourself up to much I think we have all had our problem with control at some time or the other. I saw this tag on an E-mail today it sums up things perfectly.
We cannot go back and make a new beginning but starting this day we can make a new ending.
I don't know where this quote came from or even if I have quoted it correctly but I think the meaning says a lot. What's is in the past has past all that matters is what we do from now on.
Good Luck with your procedure I sure you have over 25,000 people praying for you.
My only recommendation would be to start looking forward. You can't beat yourself up about what you did in the past. But you can look at today and to the future to start making changes.
You definitely have to start by getting control of your BGs. What was your last A1C? Do you pump or do MDI?
Most importantly - what is the one thing you can start doing TODAY that would put you on the right path? Maybe it's just checking your blood sugar as soon as you wake up in the morning? Or maybe it's consistently taking the right amount of insulin before your morning meal. Whatever it is, pinpoint it and start doing it. No excuses. Once you've conquered that one thing, pick another thing and start doing that one too.
Don't try to change everything at once.
If you've had problems in the past with bad hypos, is there any way you can get a CGM? That might make you feel more comfortable.
I'm in the same boat you are. I have all kinds of eye problems and have sat for many laser sessions and also had many injections. I didn't take diabetes seriously for many, many years when I was younger. It has all caught up with me now. We can't re-do the past, but we can try to make the future not so bleak. Take charge of your diabetes TODAY and go along with everything the eye doctor wants to do for you. He will be saving your sight. It's all upsetting, I know, but you have the power to make things better.