Do I ever feel like a freak with all this tubing and tape? YES!
But, it comes and goes, and certainly the first few months were the hardest, because it was all new and I didn't feel confident in my pumping skills. Now, I can bolus without looking, change a site in the dark, and I feel like my pump is just a part of me now, instead of an outside machine. It didn't happen overnight, but eventually the whole thing of it will get easier and with that will come better acceptance and less mental drama and awkwardness!
In the mean time though-
Realistically speaking, all the benefits that you gain from a pump are only in exchange for about 1 square inch of skin. And that square inch can be just about any inch you decide you want it to be, so if you don't want to see it front and center every time you get dressed, move it! Check the body map on the omnipod website, every place they say you can put a pod is a place you can put a regular infusion set too.
It turns out (and this is after several years of trial and error and discovery mind you) that I think things on my belly look way more creepy and "medical" than I want to feel. A thingy on the back of my arm, on my back/side muffin top, and even on my thigh all feel less clinical and help my... device acceptance level... to an appropriate place. Its not full-proof, but there's just something about putting stuff all over my belly that is a turn-off to me. Maybe exploring alternate sites can help you too?
As for sex, unless you married a real jerk, the awkwardness is something you made up all by yourself. In my limited experience, man is so happy to have to the option to see skin and have sex that little details like an infusion set or tubing barely register. And when it does register, the string of thought is something like "That piece of plastic on the belly of the girl under me keeps said girl alive so we can keep doing this. I like plastic." I'm paraphrasing and making a small joke out of it, but I've asked my guy if it ever bothers him (loaded question, yes, but he's not opposed to giving me unpleasant answers if they're true) and he said on rare occasions he's afraid he's going to get caught in my tubing and yank it out and that will hurt me (really hard to do, by the way), but otherwise he's happy that I can stay alive with just that small piece of plastic.
Also, with time it will get easier to disconnect without looking, you'll have it down to about 1/2 second so there's almost no time (for either of you) to notice that you're doing anything and it won't take any thought and certainly not any stopping and sitting to disconnect. Additionally, and this is my choice, you can just stay attached. You've got lots of tubing and I can almost 100% promise that it at least won't be in the way physically.
What to do now though? Recognize that a pump is a big change, and its okay to be upset by it even if it was your idea in the first place. Its okay to grieve that square inch of skin, and all that it stood for. You can try making your site and pump more fun: I know there was a place that made fun colored stickers to go over the infusion sets, sort of like a tattoo... I saved them for vacations so I felt 'fun' instead of 'funky' when at the beach, but I can't remember what they were called. Someone online was posting pictures of their decorated pod, I don't see why you couldn't also decorate a regular infusion set and then its a little more fun to see. Also, some of them come in color options, and that (in my opinion) takes some of the sting out of it visually. You can also find skins for your pump, add pink zebra stipes to liven it up a little, or maybe a sea of fish? (I think it was skinit.com that had the biggest selection of skins last time I was looking.)
Lots of ideas you didn't ask for, and none of them actually address your claim of being vain and having self-esteem issues, but hopefully someone else can chime in on those (I just wasn't given a body worth being vain about). To reiterate what you did ask though, you are not the first or only person to feel like a cyborg, and I can promise that it will get easier and less awkward over time. Hang in there!
