I feel like I cant do it anymore

I have been feeling very angry for the past few days I have been type 1 for 21yrs and have always felt guilty of what I eat and I'm always thinking how its going to affect my numbers so I try to eat as healthy as possible, of course I cheat here and there, but until these past few days I been feeling like I've had enough of it especially since I work really hard to keep my glucose under control but for some reason I cant bring my numbers down its frustrating as I have been running/exercising for the past 3 months and doesnt seem to help. Just went for a 20min run and my glucose was 240mg before and it started to go down in the middle of my run I did reduce my basal, and when I got home my dexcom was showing 158 15mins later it started to rise and now its at 203mg(I did not eat anything just started to rise on its own) I am super dissapointed and I feel like giving up already. This is new for me I have never felt like this before and its kind of scary, now I'm over bolusing and going low then I go high after treating my low its a horrible roller coaster of blood sugars.. anyone ever feel like you work your hardest so that you can see good numbers in your glucose and end up dissapointed by high numbers?? this has been me for the past couple weeks I feel so upset and sad all at the same time I feel like I should eat what I want when I want cause it doesnt matter anyway since my glucose is high no matter what...

I would think that if you are getting your BG going up without any food inputs, you may want to try increasing your basal? Maybe 10% and see what happens? Sometimes, I'll throw caution to the wind and really crank it up but a lot of the time, changing a rate .05U/ hour will do the trick for being "off". It may not be anything you've done. A change in the seasons or maybe a change in the alignment of the planets or who knows what else might affect it. I don't look at "eating" as "cheating" but sometimes eating more frequently or more "garbagey" makes it harder to do "research" to see if there's been a change of some sort?

You probably know all this anyway and I agree that it sucks but when I get out of whack, all I can do is change the rates and ratios. I am really conservative about what I eat during the week, pretty much the same thing most of the time (breakfast and lunch. Then again, I pig out at night about the same amount pretty regularly too...) and I think that makes it easier to babysit rate/ ratios?

i'm in the same boat right now. i have a doctor appointment this week because my lab numbers were 'bad'. that's how the nurse told me "you need to make an appt to discuss your labs b/c your numbers are bad." i'm sure there is a nicer way to tell me that, but that's beside the point! i haven't had this much trouble with my numbers for about 5 years . . . i'm just in a funk. I've been exercising and eating right, but it doesn't seem to matter. I'm hoping to get some clarity at my appointment. I know it's controllable, I just need to get it back together. I just keep remembering back to the time where my numbers were good . . . how healthy and good i felt. I want to get back to that point, and i know i can. That's one thing i LOVE about this site, i know i'm not the only one going through this and there is a way to come back (: Hang in there and let's keep encouraging each other through this site . . . good things will come!

I feel this way a lot too. I don't have any answers, just to tell you you're not alone in how you feel.

Type 1 here, for 18 years, and I definitely understand how you feel! Sometimes I think the harder I try, the worse it gets, and that might in fact be true, since I'll watch my dex and start freaking out when stuff changes in a direction I don't want it to, and then I'll end up over-compensating. Maybe try taking the Dex off for awhile and see if it helps?

One thing that has helped me a lot is to try to take the emotion out of the numbers. We tend to equate "high" with "bad" or "low" with "bad". A high or low is simply "out of range," not "good" or "bad". It's a piece of information that we can use to make adjustments to help get us back in range. Your blood sugar level has nothing to do with your worth has a human being, and if it's out of range, you shouldn't feel guilty about it, you just use it as a reference point to know what you need to do to get back in range. We're trying to mimic a really complicated process that other people's bodies do naturally, and we don't have good enough tools to do that perfectly all the time. As long as you're trying (and it sounds like you are), out of range numbers are never your fault, they're a product of insulin and delivery methods that, while good, are not good enough to mimic the way a perfectly functioning pancreas works.
Anyway, thinking about it like that helps me to stop feeling so guilty and bad sometimes, so I thought I'd share. Just know that there are people out there who understand and support you!

I've had type 1 for about 15 years, and I've noticed a lot of outside influences can affect my bloodsugars. I've been having a great deal of difficulty in controlling my own despite knocking out just about any processed foods and exercising more. I've lost weight and become healthier, but my bloodsugars are still not where I want them; I'm still at around 8.5 as an A1C, but that's many shades better than the 10.5 I was working just a few months ago. Weather can alter your metabolism in strange ways, I notice that along with colder temperatures it's harder for me to control my glucose for some reasons (and it's not just the holiday foods ;p). Just keep working at it. Have you been making small adjustments with your basal rates to see if that helps?

i like that way of thinking! too bad we can't get the health professionals to see it that way :D

This happens to me all the time, and it can be frustrating.

The only thing that works for me is to kind of tone everything down until my diabetes becomes a little more predictable. No big carb meals, smaller doses of insulin, some mild exercise. After a while, I usually become a little more insulin sensitive, and things mellow out again.

Don't give up. It's your responsibility to do your best, not necessarily to understand exactly why your diabetes decides to go haywire. If it made sense all the time, then it wouldn't be Type 1...don't stress over that, just push on with a smile, it's not your fault!!

I think we often get our blood sugar control, our personal behavior and our feelings all lumped in together, and that makes it difficult. I think it is very important to your sanity to not get everything confused. Remember, each of these three things can be going really poorly, but it does not have to mean that all three do poorly. Your blood sugar can be just off track, but it doesn't mean you are behaving badly and it doesn't mean you have to feel bad. And by the same token, you can be depressed, but that doesn't mean you have to behave badly or that your blood sugar must get off track.

I think Erin's suggestion can really help. I like to "separate" these aspects of my diabetes. Give yourself a break. If you have been doing everything right, eating properly and exercising and yet your blood sugar is still whacked, don't beat yourself up. Give yourself some credit.

So think of your issues as three different things. Your blood sugar control. Just apply the principles that you know by heart, but apply them in a formulaic manner, no emotion. Just do it. And your feelings, think about doing some things that make you happy. Do some things that you enjoy where you can just forget about your diabetes. And your efforts to exercise are admirable changes to your behavior, but you should understand that it is going to take some time to figure it out. Get the book "The Diabetic Athlete's Handbook," and give yourself a break. Managing your blood sugar control with exercise involves some added complications.

Thanks I’ve been messing with my basal rate, its help a little but I want my sugars under 200 & I can’t get them under that no matter how much I try, since I read your comment I’ve been trying the temp basal I’ve increased it by 10% & my glucose went from 270 to 180 & its been at 180mg for the last hour so that’s a better number than 270 I’m going to increase my basal by .5 if not more…

Absolutely I’m the only one in my family with diabetes so its really hard to go through all the ups & downs of diabetes on your own I’m very thankful for this site because I know I have support from all of you & I know someone is going through what I’m going & they can relate or vise versa :slight_smile: good luck with your appointment I had one 2 weeks ago & the medical assistant asked if I had my IPOD with me lol! I said yes I have my omnipod all you can do really is laugh they are just ignorant they don’t live with this disease so they don’t understand how hard it is to keep your numbers at a “normal” range…

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts I will definitely try this your right its out of range! I guess its how you think of it I think all the stressing over my glucose has been bad for my numbers also, I might just take a break from my dex cause I think that’s what’s stressing me out the most I check my glucose 6 to 8 times a day anyway its not like I prick my fingers any less when I wear it

thank you I will try but its so hard but I'm hopeful that this will pass soon.. I will look for the book, again thank you :)

I think I should adopt all yall here so I can help educate my son on the Dka and crazy tings he is also going through. He joined this site tonight but is waiting for approval. he's 3 and half hours away and newly married with no one to help guide him and his wife. we text alot! I'm here to learn from you guys so I can help him stay alive . No doctor will come to his door and say I'm available 24/7 just call. I wish! Hope your days get better. wish I could say I understand the Basal thing yall are discussing but I'm still new and learning. My son has been texting all night scared of whats happening to his body rite now. DKA 2 months ago and sent home to figure it out. was type 2 since 16 and only on pills went to college and didnt keep on blood sugars than sept went in the DKA about a month after his wedding. I feel stupid because I thought he had signs of it over the summer between his college time off and ignored it because I thought No that doesnt happen to type 2 people from what we learned. Guess we didnt learn enough till now. he has neuropothy now. eletro lites are off, pottassium off. drinks water and still dehydrated. frustrating cycle. Hope things get better for you soon.

Maybe he's T1 instead of T2? I know T2 people can run pretty high/ DKA too but if he's *constantly* high, maybe the docs botched the diagnosis? Insulin will fix elevated BG pretty quickly and might help him feel better. I was dx'ed a long time ago (1984...) but still remember how much better I felt once I got "cured" with insulin? Come to think of it, I think I was dx'ed when I was 16ish too?

yes think from what just happened they def messed up the diagnose. He is on insulin now Humilin 70/30 but sugars are dropping alot and he's not wanted to eat. he's 21 and doesnt know what to do or how to fix things. Not knowing exactly what is up with his body after such a scary thing is freaking all me and him. People that have no understanding think he should be able to fix this but I wish it were that simple. I feel even though I'm not diabetic at this point I'm the only one who is trying to learn whats going on with him and get it straight before it gets worse. He has a whole life ahead of him unless we dont fix this. Thats my fear as a mom. What is happening to him? You get the diagnose then sent home with scripts with no understanding of what just happened untill I found yall. Ugh! Really frustrating. I dont want to miss somthing importent to help him. When he almost died in September It took 24 hours for them to tell me what was happening and he only had a few hours left when his wife brought him in. Trying to help young adults understand some decisions are a matter of life and death and his wife not knowing what was happening had class at college that day and Luckily picked to take him to the ER instead of going to class. How does the hospital fix DKA in 3 and 1/2 days. from what I read that seems fast and makes me think he's still has alot of things not rite cause he's not functioning much. Struggles to walk without pain a week after he came home. any help understanding would be greatly appreciated. thanks Kimberly

thanks. I thought this insulin would be good when he first came home untill the feet and legs with neuropothy started. in the beggining 2005 he was on humalog and Lantus at night. only on it short term because they found he was having alot of lows so than he went to metformin ER. Life was great and managed. The pills kinda put him in the bathroom alot though and he never got used to that and didnt take them like he was supposed to the last year at colllege. So now this is what happened. johns sugars have been ok but not eating enough I feel is keeping the body from funtioning rite and healing. I liked the idea of this insulin because he just has to remember to eat 4 times a day. If we can get rid of the neuropothy he could probable Eat better. the pain is number one on his mind. He has joined this site just tonight and I'm hoping he makes friends and learns so he can get what I'm trying to teach him from hear:)

I did like 24 years on Humalin and it works ok but 70/30 is ****very**** hard to do a scientific approach to your numbers with.

I was a young adult and sort of on my own and largely did ok b/c I partied my brains out and used insulin and food like anything else you'd buy in the parking lot at a Grateful Dead concert. But that was with separate R and N.

I think that Novolog/ Lantus might work a lot smoother for him, to get dosages and levels figured out. in an organized manner. There's sort of a "roll the dice" element to Novolin, particularly the very important N component? Another thing that I realized when I got a pump was that very small adjustments can make a big impact on your numbers and the mixed insulins are probably extremely difficult to do that with 70/30, which I suspect would be true whether you were T1 or T2?

the hospital put john on this insuline. I'm kinda leaning on what they want him to do. Dont know enough yet. thanks for the response. Lows can be dangerious but highs do damage so its a wait and see. I think his body is still out of wack from the DKA and maybe the clinic will help him when we go again on the 28th. Planning to get another A1C, blood work up, to check his pottassium,sodium, electrolites . the clinic has the hospital notes so hope we get this straight soon. Trying to get him back in shape for college in January. Hope hes not still dehydrated to. thanks again

Just had my 35 year anniversary since diagnosis. I can tell you I have been where you are and I still go there every once in awhile. When I was diagnosed I took one shot of NPH and peed on a strip to see how much sugar I was spilling. Today I am on the pump and test 10x per day. Sometimes I think it was easier back then. I also think it has to do with your basal rate. I have found fasting is the only way to test basal. I have also found that basal rates change and that there are so many factors in play. I have thrown out bottles of insulin convinced they are bad. I have a Dexcom but I just can't handle it. I become obsessive compulsive and end up finger pricking even more to validate my readings. Meditation has helped bring me down while testing basal. Living with this condition is just plain tough and I feel you.