Recently, I went out with a guy and we really hit if off. He contacted me every evening until after I explained to him that I am a Diabetic. I haven't heard from him since and I find myself confused about this situation. I am a fairly new T1. Can anyone else relate to this problem in the dating world?
Had the same happen with some friends when I had to go on a T2 diet at prescribed. I was thrown out of the group, a great help when you are battling depression. But your ex bf is not worth worrying about, where would be be in your future should any rocky situation arise, he'd just back out like he has now. Don't waste your energy worrying about him. Hugs, Maureen
It took me a while , but I think I got it now :" Play with those , who like to play with you " ..take care lafashionaddict !!
wow, hey, I agree with Maureen, he is not worth worrying about, if you didn't have d, I'm sure he would have shown his true self with some other issue. It looks to me like you have a great career and future, lots of adventures and friends to meet.
Whew, you are lucky you got rid of him now, when you had the chance!! I had uh, some adventures but it didn't come up too much. There may be some people who were put off my the (grim) long-term prospects when I was younger however I did a *lot* other, non-diabetes activities that may also have adversely impacted my prospects, e.g. getting blasted all the time, strobe lights, burning things, etc. I have a great wife and wonderful family now so things have worked out ok.
I have been diabetic for 37 years and married for 35. I was 17 when diagnosed. That is difficult for me to believe but true. Here is the thing I dated for two years before marriage and one of those years I dated a lot. The second year I dated my wife. During that one year I was dumped more than once usually with the exclamation is that catching or when will that be cured, or when her mom said oh your the sick boy. So with each time I would feel bad or beat myself up until I figured out that I didn't care and if I got dumped, that was cool. You will find the same I believe.
That guy missed out and guess what its ok. Your life will be better without him and thank goodness he did not call back, lets face it if he didn't like your diabetes then he would not like you. As much as we want we cannot separate ourselves from our disease. I wish I could, I bet you wish you could as well. But we cannot, we are what we are and if he does not like you for who you are than not calling back is great. Time to find a guy who will accept you for you.
By the way my mother in law greeted me by saying oh here is the dia, north end guy. She didn't know what was worse being diabetic or coming from the north end of our city. Turns out it was the north end. LOL See its always something.
I had a few similar experiences to this when I was dating, before I met my spouse. Guys who are worth it won't care at all, guys who end up not being worth it will be scared off or freaked out by diabetes. Ultimately you want someone who will love and support ALL of you (including your diabetes). My husband is truly my partner and best support and advocate with my diabetes care. That's the kind of person you want to look for. Sometimes it's nice, because diabetes will weed out people faster that are ultimately just going to disappoint you in the long run, so I guess that's one good way to put it? Good luck with things, diabetes and dating can be rough sometimes. Hang in there!
On the first date you are NOT going to stand up on the table and pronounce your entire sexual history, your family's psychological troubles with a bullhorn, at that first date I would assume, correct???
The closer we get with people the more information we both wish to share and desire to learn about them in turn. While possible it was too early to share your medical information, something intimate it is far more likely the reasons he disappeared was something far more common, simple, stupid.
Make an effort if you got a good vibe, then look elsewhere. The ones we "keep" are the ones who do not care, are not bothered by our dragon(s). They have them too...
That sucks, I'm sorry you went through that experience. They won't all be like that though, and don't lower your standards because you think you are worth less b/c you have diabetes, b/c that is not true.
I was diagnosed later in life too (21) and I spent a lot of time thinking about what that means for my hypothetical partner.
I don't know how I would feel if I would be healthy and would have a diabetic partner. I think about the burden of not having control over the well-being of the other person but having to deal with all the consequences of their decisions. So, you get zero power but equal amount of responsibilities.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that it takes a great person to accept us with our diabetes because we carry an extra burden and this is simply the truth. We are asking the other person to share our burden (and observing how great is my boyfriend with everything, I am really in awe).
Not everybody can accept a partner with diabetes and all that it entails and that's ok because we are not all strong enough in facing difficulties or have the ability to sacrifice. But there are people out there who can do it.
I know it must be hard for you but I wouldn't hold it against this guy just because he can't take it. Unfortunately, we can't all take it.
When you find a match it will be diffrent, nothing you normally do will drive this person away. The things you do will shine bright in their life and bring comfort , and happiness to them.
When I found my wife I was 34, and had 2 small children that lived with me full time. I thought I would never get married again but the lord placed someone in my life that saw good things in me and my children. She has raised my children and has held my hand through some very, very tough times....last week was our 25th Wedding anniversary.
Note: It takes time for the dust and lust to clear, wait for daylight things can look and feel much different.
Hi fashionaddict, I had a similar situation. I had been seeing this girl for about three months or so when I became sick back in November. After spending a few days in the hospital recovering, and receiving my type 1 diagnosis things seem to change. She seemed different, very standoffish and not like herself at all and basically quit calling and texting me all together. This was a difficult thing to deal with right at the time of dx, but I guess everything happens for a reason. I thought she was a really great girl, but diabetes is something I am going to have to deal with from now on, and if she couldn’t handle it I’m sure that I will be better off without her. I’ve always heard that a person’s true colors come out in times of adversity, and I guess she showed hers. lol There are plenty of people out there with diabetes that have great relationships, and I’m sure things will get better it’s just a matter of finding the right person.
“The friend in my adversity I shall always cherish most. I can better trust those who helped to relieve the gloom of my dark hours” Ulysses S. Grant
I had a friend from high school who had looked me up and was emailing me with unwanted marriage proposals for about two years before dx--and I thought we were friends. At dx, I was telling people my news, and happened to tell this friend the story.
His basic response was "I want to have kids, and I hear that's going to be hard for you now" along with a withdrawal of the marriage proposals (which I'd been trying to get him to stop for two years so I didn't bother trying to clarify what people with diabetes can and cannot do, but . . . really?)
I basically haven't emailed him since.