Lost the baby - Again

Had U/s yesterday and the finding was “fetal demise at 6 weeks and 5 days”. This is my 3rd consecutive miscarriage since middle of last year.

Have yet to see my dr and see if I will miscarry naturally or have a D&C. I would prefer to miscarry naturally, but don’t want to wait to long.

Last time I waited and after 6 weeks was still not miscarrying and ended up with D&C anyway.

I am so sad. 13 days ago I saw the heartbeat and was filled with joy at having a new child. Yesterday that joy was dashed. I feel like I must have done something wrong. Not rested enough. Not eaten well enough. Taken too much coffee. Definitely something I can be blamed for, as others are already blaming me.

I feel like giving up. I feel like punishing myself. I feel that I am a failure for not being able to carry a child. I don’t feel like eating at all (hunger aside). Guess this is a natural response to this sad sad news. I haven’t decided if I’ll go off insulin completely and back to very low carb diet, or to stay on the insulin. Don’t feel like testing any more.

I will mourn and then try again. I only told a very small no. of people. But next time I won’t tell anyone aside from this forum. I can’t bear any more the telling, the untelling,and then the recriminations that will make me feel worse and more guilty about the loss than I already feel.

Work day over. And I’ve been a lazy slob the last couple of hours. I will go home and have a glass or 2 of wine and try to be a decent mother to my 2 Yo. Walk the dogs. Clean up. And try to pretend all is just fine and dandy and my heart isn’t broken in two with me trying desperately to patch the two bits together again.

Sally, I’m so sorry to hear this. Sending you big hugs to help you through this time. Let yourself mourn and then you can try again. Hugs!!!

So sorry to hear this, Sally. Don’t beat yourself up over it; sometimes these sucky things just happen, and no one is to blame. We’re all just doing the best we can to take care of ourselves. Hugs

I am sooo sorry to hear this and know exactly how you feel. I have had two miscarriages in the past year also, and just found out yesterday that I am pregnant. I’m not getting excited yet, I will just see what happens. I am not going to offer any words of encouragement, because I know that it just makes things worse. Just know that I am thinking of you.

I’m so sorry to hear that. I wish you all the strenght in the world.
Please don’t blame yourself, i’m sure you’ve done nothing wrong, especially because you wanted this baby so much.
Have you checked yourself for thrombophilia? I know it is a very common reason for miscarriges, but you can have a baby if you know about it and treat it.

No, it doesn’t rule that out.

Maybe you don’t have any problems related to that, but you better check everything to be sure.
What do your doctors think about 3 miscarriges? What’s the reason in their opinion?

Please do that! Insist on your doctors to test you for every posible reason. Let us know too.
Lots of health and strenght!

Oh Sally. I am so sorry to hear this. Please don’t give up on the rest of your health as anything that you do now will strengthen your body for your next try. I went through m/c last fall at 9 weeks… had D&C and then three weeks later, we conceived again. I’m now 4 months with that baby.

We had the placenta tested to see why the baby miscarried and it was due to a missing X chromosome- something that I had NO control over.

With our current pregnancy, we didn’t tell anyone until after the first trimester. It was hard to hide because I started showing around 8 weeks, but we did the best we could to protect our hearts from breaking again.

Please know we are here for support. Vent if you need to. I screamed and cried like a banshee for two whole days- lights out, curtains drawn, wrapped in my husband’s arms. Then I painted a mural and wrote a few poems.

Do what you can, and then try again.

I’m so sad reading this. My heart goes out to you and your family. SHAME ON those who say it’s your fault and come out with the recrimination. How dare they, how dare they! Nobody knows why miscarraiges happen. All we know is that they do, happen and they are terribly sad and painful. You did everything you could within your power to keep the pregnancy. Please don’t look to yourself in blame during your time of mourning. You have a beautiful 2 year old daughter who adores you. Look to her for your stregnth. I will keep you in my thoughts.

my sister has had two miscarriages and one healthy pregnancy (he’s also 2) and with the last miscarriage they found out she had a protein S deficiency. her doctor said it was very common and that numbers change from month to month so it explained the two miscarriages and 1 healthy baby. have them do a full panel of clotting disorders just so that they don’t miss any.