I haven’t written on here for a while so i thought i should update the site on whats going on. Well i went to the hospital for a check up and my hBA1c was 9.6 (i think) from when it had been 12.6, obviously i was not happy that it was that, so that was that because my mum trusts me more now, i can say that i have injected when i havent, use something (obviously not going to say how) to fake blood sugar levels, so i now fully havent done any injections now for the third day which is awesome, good feleling to be back to it again. My nurse said to me when i last went, ‘remember your not doing your injections for the hospital or for your mum your doing it for yourself’ well i decided im not so sod it, im going not going to do it! oo and Phils home tomorrow, but i wont see him until saturday so i hope he notices my weight going down again so he can be proud for me to be his girlfriend and not some fat ugly blob!!
With bulimia/diabulimia it is always the same pattern: you inflict damage to yourself for something that was caused by others. Very sad. You have so much to loose. Not in the future but now.
I actually think that TuDiabetes should delete these kinds of posts. This is clearly someone who is not a good role model for other people, especially children, with Type 1, who is not open to changing behavior, and who is actually advocating behavior that is likely to result in blindness, permanent disability, and death. A lot of young women gravitate toward ANA sites on the internet, that advocate anorexia, and blog posts like this are no different. I would hope we could do better here as a community.
Your boyfriend won’t be so proud of you when you’ll start having secondary complications due to messing with not taking insulin. Do you really think he wants a skinny blind girlfriend on dialysis with numb fingers and one foot? Yeah, much better, you will be a skinny ugly blob!
ps: And I am sure he won’t appreciate either the acetone smell of your breath from persistent hyperglycemia.
Think about it. It’s your life. You can be stupid and fake whatever you want, but you can’t lie to your own body.
Oh, I hope you get help. I went through something like this,but mine was involuntary since I had no insurance and no job for 6 months.I couldn’t afford my meds,doc care,etc.I was to worried about where I was going to stay each night and when my next meal would be.Any way, Besides the complications listed below, there can also be significant damage done to your teeth.They will literally start to rot out of your mouth.It is EXTREMELY painful.Also the pain that can develop in your legs,etc. I started having some of these issues and it was horrible.Luckily now I have found a clinic to help me with some of my care and some of the effects I am no longer feeling.However my teeth took a bad hit,and now i’m facing over 10,000 dollars in dental care.I can not convey how painful and horrible these effects can be.There have been nightsin the past where I am awake in pain and just pray to god that Icould fall asleep to have just a few hours of reprieve.I had an aunt that did this(she was type 1 as well) and she got gang green in one leg and had it amputated below the knee,her kidneys began to fail, and now she is dead.Trust me if you don’t stop this soon you too will face these effects.It’s basically a slow and PAINFUL suicide.Please seek help.
Holly – the fact that you posted this posts suggests to me that you want help. You know that there are people that care deeply about you. You need help, but first you need to decide that you need help. I hope that you will reach this point soon.
You know that we are concerned about you and so are the people around you.
Someday you will realize that weight does not matter as much as being healthy, but I hope that it is sooner rather than later.
Please turn to someone who wants to help you.
Crystal, i live in the UK so i dont really understand how the system of insurance works, i know what most of that feels like but the Uk dont recognise this as an illness, its a addiction i cant stop, and Frances excuse me? You know nothing about me, its not pro, its how i feel, I hope we could do better than what exactly? it is my decision what i write on hear and some people on here have the same thing and actually i thought i was the only one until i found other people on here, please dont ever think your better than anyone else on here because at the end of the day we’re all as screawed up as the rest.
Like the others who posted, I hope you can come to terms with this. Realize it’s an extremely difficult problem & one that will kill you. Healthy is beautiful & vibrant.
Your nurse is right.
I also know nothing about your system of health care .When you said they consider it a “addiction” were you referring to the “diabulemia” or your diabetes? See I was just saying I went through some of the same health problems that come along with “diabulemia” but mine was unintentional since I did not have insurance to help care for my diabetes at the time.I think it is a good thing that you felt comfortable enough to post about this. Others do need to know they are not the only ones dealing with these issues. I was overweight all through out my child hood and high school, and several times considered doing the same things you are to try to loose weight.I don’t know why I never did it, because no one knew I was considering it to try and stop me, I just didn’t do it.It would have been nice to know at that time I wasn’t the only one feeling that way. Luckily from changing my diet and getting more exercise,plus a lot of stress after graduating form high school I lost the weight. i was just trying to convey how painful some of the side effects of doing what you are can be.It’s pain that I would not wish on my worst enemy. Posting about problems you’re having may allow you to get help. I was not trying to give you a hard time.you don’t need lectures, you need people who are willing to listen and then give advice.Then it is up to you to take the advice or not.
Hi Holly.
I’d just like to mention, as a diabulimic desperately trying to recover, that yes, you may well be ‘skinny’ for your boyfriend, but that’s about it. You may have noticed by now that you might be feeling a bit itchy ‘down there.’ The further you keep this persistant DKA going for, the worse that will get. Then it will turn in to a full blown yeast infection, and if worse comes to worse, it may spread to your cervix. I can tell you from experience, this pain is the same sort of pain you would experience in the first stages of labour. You will need to be dosed up to your eyeballs on morpine to even touch it.
Now, I assume you are young.I assume your boyfriend is young. And as we all know,young guys in relationships will be curious and possibly wanting sex. Now imagine you have some of the above ailments I’ve mentioned, and now imagine having sex. Not only will you be in the most unbearable pain, but you will most definitely give this poor guy a yeast infection. He will then give it back to you, and so on so on.
Disgusting, right? Get used to it. Next will be the skin infections, the boils on your groin area, the rancid breath, the rotting teeth due to constant sugar in your saliva, the gastroparesis (which is when your stomach swells up so much you look 6 months pregnant, if you don’t believe me, I’ll actually email you a photo of mine) and all the over sexy, attractive side affects from diabulimia.
You probably think I’m some middle aged woman trying to give you a lecture, right? Wrong; I’m 19. I have the body, most likely, of a 50 or 60 year old. I used to be a part time model and when I left high school I was given the ‘most attractive’ award - believe me when I say, your looks are the first to go. Good luck on your mission… or should I say, bad luck. I hope you realise soon that you need to sort this out.