My Stubborn T2, My Valentine

I admit that I am new to this, and by this I mean both Diabetes AND Healthy relationships,

But this man is driving me bonkers....

To swoon in & of itself is a completely alien experience for me. His affect is so profound w/in my head, I do at times feel dizzy, though. My ability to breathe at the very thought of him is what I imagine l inhaling the purest form of oxygen at the top of the most beautiful mountain is like...

Positively exhilerating.....


Having spent a great deal of my life in Patient care in several different capacities, I am sympathetic to the needle phobia as much as I am to the rebellion towards

(Let me see if I can get the verbiage just right here)

"Taking time out of the day to do something that tells me something I already know and am doing something about even though it may or may not be the right something about it"

He really hates those needles, but the more I educate myself on this disease in a concentrated & specific manner, the more afraid I get,..

and by afraid I mean of both Diabetes AND this relationship.

I s'pose I should not complain so very loudly...

He is an avid Mountain Biking Crazy man, In the gym 5 days a week, and a health nut.

The problem with loving a man such as this is that he has all these things to fall back on when I bring to his attention that his "Old people lose their eyesight" (He has 10 years on me) reasoning doesn't fly with the fact that sometimes it clears up suddenly...and at really odd moments too -

Ha! Like the day he realized his truck really was THAT dirty!

Or the fact that A1c is an average that tells you almost nothing if you only get a Physical once every other nagging girlfriend, sister, mother....

I think his last one may have been three years ago...

Conclusion? Don't have one yet - except this....

I really do love love love this man and I guess this is part of it.

I am here the day before Valentines day,

which for so very long has been nothing more than

a special day to express my complete adoration for my children,

& I am begining to understand that the definition of THIS kind of love just may be in acceptance.

His stubborness is what keeps him healthy and strong.

His hatred of needles is genuine & hurts my heart.

It represents to me all the gentleness of his soul that I love so much...

Hmmmm, And I REALLY do Love this man!

Maybe I should tell him... ;)

So Happiest of Valentines days to those of us who love a stubborn Diabetic -

May they recognize us with long lives and a few extra sweet kisses

I think one of the hardest things I have had to do is accept how my husband cares for his own Diabetes. Sometimes, I see his control as not being as tight as mine, and I admit, that I do freak out. I feel the ingrained memories of my father becoming an invalid, losing his sight, going through dialysis, having heart disease, and not being able to walk again… and it’s scary!

I have had some serious talks with him about me… not wanting to commit to that. I don’t want to commit to being a nurse for him for the rest of his years because he didn’t WANT to care for himself… So now he does. He does a good job. As harsh as this might seem, for me to have said that to him, those are my real fears. I want to have him around for a much time as possible.

Now that being said, this is HIS OWN JOURNEY. I cannot tell him how to care for himself, and what to do… but I do make a point to praise all the good things he does for better care. He learns some things from me, and I can help answer some questions he has… but this is his OWN journey. Short of controlling what I cook at home, and how I cook it, I can’t make him eat smaller quantities, and I can’t make him go see a doctor regularly.

I see him as having A LOT of commitment to his health, and caring about himself enough… if he’s exercising a lot, and watching what he eats. I think, you may want to kindly suggest that getting an A1C% a couple of times a year is a good way to make sure that what he’s doing to control his Diabetes is working… and that his disease is not progressing to the point of needing medications, or insulin… so that he doesn’t unknowingly go down a bad path. There are A1c testing kits for using at home (like the Bayer A1CNow testing kit)… and this is just like using a glucose meter, and no need to be in front of a big, scary needle. He may have a lot of experience already with all the meals he eats, and how they are going to most likely test… and he is right about not needing to test all the time for meals we are not going to learn much about how they will react, or if there are no other circumstances affecting issues (like an illness, infection, or monitoring what medications may do.) If he doesn’t try very many ‘new’ foods all the time, with high carbs or a mix of high carbs and fat, than he may only need to test very minimally…

Some people even only test about once a month. Now, this isn’t entirely my preference for treatment at all… but if his A1c’s come alright (whenever he does have them), and he is comfortable with less testing… not much one can do about it. Perhaps you could come to a sort of compromise with him about testing only when he has a new meal he hasn’t tried before (that meets the above criteria), or when you eat out at a restaurant… See how he responds to that, and the A1c at home suggestion. You can find many, many good deals online (some with free shipping), and some with free meters. Just make sure the expiration date is still good.

Best of luck to ya. :slight_smile: