I am on the edge of that cliff looking down … I hate diabetes I know I am not alone in this feeling. I have so many medical issues and more popping up all the time. I am in constant pain. In real life I am alone. My family tells me to stop whining (sp). I don’t want to say anything to my griends because if my family doesn’t want to hear it and they avoid me why would i expect my friends to be any different. So I no where else to let this out (hence the title). So many doctors telling me different things they all want me to follow their instructions I am starting to shut down. I am scared I don’t want to do this anymore… I don’t want to be in pain anymore. i don’t want to cry anymore. I would say I don’t want to live anymore but I don’t feel like I am living… I am just here there is so much pain that I really can’t do much … i just found out that my pelvic bones and spine are twisted which is why I can’t sit, stand or lay down for very long… I just don’t want to do this anymore… I don’t want to be here anymore… I know I will not do anything so no worries I just hurt thats all… Thankx for listening if you got this far.
HI Barbara. I know there is something going on with you that is very painful. Is it arthritis? Is it the twisted nature of things. Can a chiropractor or alternative doctor help? Pain sucks big time. I want you to aggressively look for understanding and treatment. It is out there. NEVER GIVE UP! Peace Be With YOU, Phil
Hang in there Barbara. I will be praying for you. It’s good you came here, because you know there are people on here that care and can relate. As far as the doctors instructions you can only take one step at a time, it’s hard to manage when you have a lot of illnesses, meds and instructions to correlate. You can only do so much, give yourself time. Take it one second at a time, that’s what I have to do. One of the groups on here is for D with multiple health issues. I was where you are at about 2 years back, the pain was horrendous and my doctor would not give me any pain meds for about 4 months.
i suggest you make a list and attack it one at a time. If you are type 1 ask your doctor to consider two things. First you may have Rheumatoid Arthritis (RA) and Ankylosing Spondylitis (AS). These are related diseases and are common for type 1 diabetics.
Also if you not with a therapist I suggest you find one and start. I have gone to a therapist for over 15 years and still struggle with these issues.
Do let us know how things are going. Almost all of us understand what you are going through and we want to support you as best we can. Int he mean time, keep talking, please.
Thank you guys for reading… I have type 2 for 21 years now. I guess I should have expected the complications… I just didn’t expect so many at once or maybe I just ignored the signs and this is all my fault. I was seeing a chiro 5 days a week but my gp stopped it… thinking since the pain was getting so much worse that maybe it was making it worse. My gp gave me pain meds for a while but stopped them so I wouldnt get addicted which I agree but the pain is so intense I want to die.
Rick I was in therapy but my new health coverage doesnt include therapy and this is the only coverage I qualify for, or I would still be going.
I don’t know I am having a hard time managing. Sometimes I feel so close to the edge of that cliff and am afraid in the moment I will just let myself have it other times I push to get through this… Just i spend more and more time at the cliff.
Take Care all and Thank You.
It is difficult for anyone to understand what depression feels like. I get sick of diabetes too. I am alone as well. I know that makes dealing with illness and depression even worse. Do you see a therapist or take medication for your depression? I’ve been seeing a wonderful therapist for 16 years. I don’t know what I’d do without her. I take two medicines for my depression. I still get depression but I can handle it now.
What I found that helps me with depression is to list my accomplishments. I had to start out slow like: getting out of bed and taking my pills. Give yourself credit for doing things. It makes you feel better about yourself which generally helps everything. I wish you the best!
As funny as this may sound, my diabetes is about the only thing I have in control right now! Back in February I was “lucky” enough to have had emergency open heart surgery. My endo was with me the entire time. My diabetes was well in control, but other things started to happen. To make a long story short, I have a wound that will not heal. I did deal with it, then decided a wound clinic might be the place to go. I am about to have another surgery…they think a wire used to tie my sternum back together may be polking through not allowing me to heal, or a suture that did not dissolve. Do I have depression, why yes I do. Am I on overload? Yes…Talk about anxiety and panic attacks!!! But…I am a firm believer that we are all here for a reason, and even though we do not know what that reason is, someone does. Whether it is to help others like we do here, or something else. I try to remember somebody is always worse than me. (sometimes that is hard to believe…LOL) Remember, you are here for a purpose…never give up trying to find out what that is!