One time during my first year of uni, exam time to be exact, I paniced so much during the exam I ended up with one of my many low episodes, and I had to leave the examination room. I wasnt goin to let that happen this year! Its my last year of university, its exam time and my long time friend of 11 years, Diabetes, has decided to be an annoying (insert swear word of your choice)!
It been so hard to keep my BS level under cotrol lately and its soooo frustrating, I just want to curl up in a ball and cry my eyes out:( I keep telling myself to calm down and everything will be fine, but will it??
This is what I hate about being diabetic, its not the fact that I test my blood sugar levels 10-15 times a day, its not that fact have to watch what I eat, its not any of the medication, pricks, needles and site changes that I do on a regular bases. Its not any of the things that we as diabetics go through that make the ' outsiders' feel sorry for us. I've been diabetic for a little over half my life and I dont remember a time when I wasnt diabetic.
What I cant stand is that you would be in control for 99 out of 100 days, and that 1 day your not in control, because of reason you cant understand, just throws you off, and it has you feeling miserable, lost and confused, and like I mentioned earlier,you just want to curl up in a ball and cry.
Yesterday I woke up at 5 am feeling very weak, I knew I was low. I got up and treated it, already hating my day, because I had a long day of studying ahead of me and I wanted as much rest as I could. So much for that! And every hour after that I was either low or really high. So I'm sitting there in my school library trying so hard to study, when pretty much every hour I had to treat my self for a low or high.
This wasnt the time for this!! I have exams!! Couldnt my off day wait till after my exams??!?! I was so mad! I'm still mad!!
That evening I was worn out, mentally and physically. I had to study, but I wasnt in the right mind to study, I was wayy too upset with myself to even concentrate, not to mention I had been up since 5 am that day to treat my soo unwanted low.
Today I woke up with a BS of 3.2!! 3.2!! (57 mg/dl):( obviously this isnt my week:(
I just want it to be over:'(........