On Monday I had a bunch of tests done at the lab. They were to check my thyroid, kidneys and liver functioning. They’re also doing the HbA1C - my first ever! - and checking my calcium levels and cholesterol. In addition to these, they’re testing for GAD and IA2 antibodies and c-peptide production.
It’s only Wednesday, and I’m already nervous about the results. I have an appointment with the endo to discuss them on the 18th - 8 days time. The endo said though that if the GAD and IA2 came back positive for antibodies he would probably phone me before then. So, I’m sitting and waiting for the phone call while I try to get some work done. I’m incredibly nervous. I’m not sure that I want a phone call, but I also might not want a phone call. It’s confusing. I may finally have a diagnosis - 9 months after I was initially told I was diabetic.
I’m dying to know what it is. I think this will let me start to make plans and anticipate what the rest of my life with D with look like. I will know if I will be taking insulin or pills for a while. I will know how I can expect to eat. I will know if I need to start saving for a pump or not. At this point, knowing is probably just as difficult as not knowing. Once I know I will have to deal with all the emotions, thoughts and fears that come with looking to the future. Having a final “Type 1” or “Type 2” is scary, because it’s the unknown. I’m scared to be a Type 1, because it’s a daunting job. On the other hand, I’m scared to be a Type 2, because the stigma is so great.
At the moment, all I can do is wait on tenterhooks and hope that it’s not too scary when the moment finally arrives.