I certainly appreciate the comments and it's hard being a perfectionist! I was schooled by nuns and priests who were strict and I always wanted to maintain good grades (numbers)so in this case I strive for my numbers to be "normal". As they have been up for over a month now I know that my beta cells are in short supply as the new meds aren't really helping much and knowing that I may have to move to insulin doesn't make me feel like a failure but having to be even more diligent about number checking. Even with my perfectionist attitude I do tend to be a free spirit as a yoga teacher which is the other side of my "perfectionism" and I try to find a balance between the two. Haha. Balance, fleeting at most.I spent most of my life even as a child caring for others and after the loss of my father I was hoping for a respite and then the diagnosis. I needed to take care of myself but was hoping to enter retirement without meds as I really despise taking them. Other than this great website and the people who share and respond so gracefully, I do not have a support system for myself. I have been to diabetes support groups but really haven't benefited from them. So, I am thankful that I do have support from you all and your words of wisdom and encouragement. I am just going through a bit of depression right now, it will pass and I will move onto acceptance eventually. Now, before the rains I head out for my am bike ride. I enjoy riding and also hiking but unable to hike as I was run over by a rottweiler and twisted my ankle. But then, that's another story. Best to all and enjoy your day wherever you are. I am blessed to be on the east coast and enjoying boating and beaching this summer.
Spirit7 I have been where you are and I just want to tell you that if its time for insulin, do not think of it as a failure, in fact as a fellow control freak when it comes to my numbers, Since I have been on insulin, I have been feeling so much better. It takes awhile to figure out doses and how your body reacts to your new way of living but over all I have to say its a good thing. I am just getting the hang of it now, and Im starting to feel human again! You can do this! In fact you may even do better on insulin that you were before! Hang in there!
THANKS. i am contemplating insulin but i am going to be patient with the sulfa rx excuse my typing my son spille who knows what on my computer an many keys not working. augh. i was hoping they woul stablize again but i just have to be patient with myself an see what happens. thanks again