I find myself surfing over to this site a lot lately. It has become a sort of lifeline for me, and I realized today that I’ve been coming here because it makes me feel better when I’m a wee bit depressed about D, which seems to be happening more than usual these days. I am not exactly sure why. I have things (relatively) well under control, but lately the constant management of all things D related has really got me down. I feel like I will never know what it’s like to be “normal,” will never accomplish all that I want to because D controls so much of my life. And I feel pretty damn bad complaining about it because I have it pretty good. I have health insurance and have not really had to fight to get the tools I’ve needed (at least, not in the last 7 years). I’m well-educated, work in a job that permits me time to deal with what I need to deal with, and have all the tools I need to keep myself healthy.
Yet I’m still depressed about D. I just want 2 hours to pass without having to think about it. I just want to sleep through the night without worrying whether I’m sky high or going to drop through the floor. I just want to be able to go out for a run or to the gym without worrying about my BG. I just want to get in my car and not worry about whether my BG is going to result in my getting into an accident.
And I just want to not feel so…alone.
The one thing that I get from TuD is relief from that feeling of isolation that T1 can bring. I don’t know any other T1s in my daily life. While a couple of my coworkers know about my D and try to be understanding, you can really only ask so much of other people. And can anyone who doesn’t actually have D truly understand? I think not. But at least when I’m surfing around on TuD, I have a whole boatload of people who “get it.” And I’ve discovered this whole wonderful diabetes online community (DOC) that “gets it.”
So why do you come here? Do you find yourself coming to TuD when you’re down? Confused? Angry? Happy?
I certainly hope this little bout of depression passes soon (I am sure it will, it always does), but until then I am so happy to have this site. It’s the one thing that can really perk me up when I’m depressed about D.