I find myself surfing over to this site a lot lately. It has become a sort of lifeline for me, and I realized today that I’ve been coming here because it makes me feel better when I’m a wee bit depressed about D, which seems to be happening more than usual these days. I am not exactly sure why. I have things (relatively) well under control, but lately the constant management of all things D related has really got me down. I feel like I will never know what it’s like to be “normal,” will never accomplish all that I want to because D controls so much of my life. And I feel pretty damn bad complaining about it because I have it pretty good. I have health insurance and have not really had to fight to get the tools I’ve needed (at least, not in the last 7 years). I’m well-educated, work in a job that permits me time to deal with what I need to deal with, and have all the tools I need to keep myself healthy.
Yet I’m still depressed about D. I just want 2 hours to pass without having to think about it. I just want to sleep through the night without worrying whether I’m sky high or going to drop through the floor. I just want to be able to go out for a run or to the gym without worrying about my BG. I just want to get in my car and not worry about whether my BG is going to result in my getting into an accident.
And I just want to not feel so…alone.
The one thing that I get from TuD is relief from that feeling of isolation that T1 can bring. I don’t know any other T1s in my daily life. While a couple of my coworkers know about my D and try to be understanding, you can really only ask so much of other people. And can anyone who doesn’t actually have D truly understand? I think not. But at least when I’m surfing around on TuD, I have a whole boatload of people who “get it.” And I’ve discovered this whole wonderful diabetes online community (DOC) that “gets it.”
So why do you come here? Do you find yourself coming to TuD when you’re down? Confused? Angry? Happy?
I certainly hope this little bout of depression passes soon (I am sure it will, it always does), but until then I am so happy to have this site. It’s the one thing that can really perk me up when I’m depressed about D.
You have a common problem in that there is no cookie cutter response to D. That is not fully understood by much of the medical community. Management of D is an individual problem best confronted by the patient which does foster an “alone” perception. There are others on this site who feel the same way (inlcluding me) and take encouragement from the other members who face and overcome their probems with solutions that may apply. I am a retired navy captain and was accustomed to be the lone final decision maker from which I can take encouragment. Be the “captain of your ship and master of your soul” and realize that you have competence and strength to overcome D. All the best.
I 1st came to this site for friends and now it’s just a big part of my family. Don’t worry about comimg here that’s what we’re here for. I’ve been a Type 1 for almost 38 years and for the 1st 32 or 34 of them I felt so alone but finding this site really made me see that I wasn’t the only one going through all these good & bad feelings I was having. I think it’s great to have someone or somebodies that get “it”. I have a daughter who took Type 1 at 11 (she’s now 22) (me? I took Type 1 at 10) but even though we had the same thing she wasn’t as up & down as I was and she just didn’t get all my feelings I was talking about. So feeling (as I had for years) like I was in this fight alone I started searching high & low (after i got a computer) for diabetic sites, Joined a few but after finding this site, I felt like finally I had found my home. Now this is the only diabetic site I come to and participate in.
I understand your feelings. The last 2 yrs I have gone through enormous stress. I come to TuD all the time. For me, I feel I have a close bond with so many people here. I get so much support, laughs and kindness, knowledge from everyone. When I am feeling depressed and overwhelmed I can come to TuD and feel better, I am not alone anymore…with many parts of my life not just the pain in the a$$ “D”. I do hope you feel better and the depression passes. If I can help you in any way just let me know.
Wow… I just read your blog and had a tear run down my face. Your blog struck a cord in me, I do not have T1 but my 10 year old son does and everything you just said fits him to a T, it was like he was telling me this himself. My son was diagnosed last year and although you as a adult can prolly come to better terms with this then he (or it may be opposite ), still T1 is no laughing matter and is a constant struggle. He feels so different, sad, isolated, angry & all of this just breaks my heart because I can only help but so much, the rest has to come with his own will power to accept the things that cannot be changed and understand this is not something to be ashamed about at all, although it is a lot of work. However, with all this work, personally I think it gives you a whole nother outlook on life, you tend to be more outgoing, understanding, gentle, kind & hardworking.
I just wanted to write & tell you to keep on going & even though you are having a rough time right now, tomorrow is a brighter, happier day! I know it’s prolly easier said then done & don’t want you to think that those feeling shouldn’t be expressed BECAUSE THEY TOTALLY SHOULD, you should be able to feel that way 100%, but just know that millions are feeling that way too and you have a HUGE support group here.
As a mother I wish I could will all the feelings & pain he has into me & if I could do that for a cure for everyone I would, but as I say to my son, this does nothing but make you 10x stronger than anyone else.
I find I come here for the same reasons. I do a lot of my own “Google-ing” for info and have recently started the Paleo diet, but I am right there with you on how awesome it would be to just not have to think about the D for a day; even 10 mins would be nice.
I remember awhile ago telling a co-worker that there are some nights where I have thoughts of “will I wake up”, and the surprise on their face really made me realize that part of my depression is that I have know-one to really talk to. Thats about the same time I found this site. I still feel like it would be great to find some local type 1’s, but coming up here helps a lot.
Ditto, ditto, ditto, ditto etc. … sigh. Hey, if you’re ever over on the west coast, MBP, lemme know! It would be fun to meet up! I’m the only pancreatically challenged person in my life, too. So lonely …
Wow, all your responses actually lifted my spirits quite a bit! Just knowing that there are others out there who “get it” helps. I think I’m going to try and find a local group of T1s or start one myself. I live in DC, so there has to be something around here!
I’m still in the angry phase, I think. If it weren’t for this web site I don’t know what I would do. Sometimes I just read posts, sometimes I join in but knowing it’s here really helps me.
I come here when I am depressed or curious or just need “my people”. There have been several things I’ve been meaning to ask the Tu crew, but now I forget. But when questions or concerns come up, I often think: I need to post on TuD to find out what everyone thinks. It’s a lifeline for me too, as well as a support group and a wonderful resource to bounce ideas off of. I don’t trust Drs advice, but I do trust a collective experience.
I totally usderstand about the stress, but I cannot say I know what you are going through. I do not have diabetes but I have a husband and two children with it. It is a constant in our lives and I totally wish I could forget about it some days. I have often felt alone and tired and I don’t even have the disease. I have tried to create support groups here and touch base with other moms but we do not talk much. I am glad I found this site. Here is a big hug to you and I hope you feel better soon. I hope you get support soon from people around you also. Take care from a concerned mom
I find myself going to TuD usually later at night when I’m relaxing and want to find…maybe it’s empathy and support? THe homepage of TuD makes it impossible to feel alone because there is just always so much going on – the photos, the blogs, the videos. I think my favorite part is the photo-roll of seeing people with diabetes in-action, in their life.
