Best wishes to all,my dear friends
forgot to take my anti depression pills for 3 days all the stifling crowded thoughts started to fill my brain box was getting irritated slumping into the pit again taken one tablet this morning trying to clear my head
Thanks Judith for your kind words
I really donāt know how much abuse one should have to endure. Been bullied as a kid, been shafted to the umpeenth degree( by a doctor and a medication nurse that wouldnāt listen to what the patient was telling them was happening and been whined and bitched at every day by individuals that donāt seem to understand that not every one is driven hard enough that they need to purt 27 hours of work in each and every day. Since the medical screwup, been making myself sick enough every day when you try and make a decision that you accomplish nothing . Donāt have the strenght that it needs to pull the trigger and medical anything is even more brain dead than politicians(thatās not saying much positive) .
I have just fallen off the depp end, literally, I had the crisis team called on me last Thursday> I decided to end it that day, Never in my 38 years have I been that desperate. I am blogging about it and created a blog called Diabetes Mind Game,Diabetes Mind Game I feel better writing abou tit and want to help others now. Mood is still very low, but I am alive. Thanks for listening.
I know about the feelings. Hope that somebody will find something,(anything ) that is going to help you. Smile and breath cause that means youāre still among the living. (I keep hoping that Jessica Simpson look a like is going to be the therapist to help me and I wouldnāt want to disappoint her)
Oh man, Trev. I read your blog. I canāt imagine what itās like to be in your shoes (I have type 2, diagnosed ~4 years ago & none of my family has it), but Iām so glad your friend was aware and there for you.
Iām so glad you are still with us. Hang in there.
Thanks, for the comments, I am starting to the rays of sun. Thanks.
I am really going through it at the moment and would appreciate suggestions on how to get out of this depression. Had an idea that I was going down with it and the doctor cancelled twice. First time she was running so late that she took one look at me and said that she did not have time to see me.
The second time she was running late again and asked if I would not mind going to see another doctor 7 hours later! When SHE was running late I finally got in to see her and could not talk for crying for the first ten minutes! She has put me on something called Sertaline and I have been in the toilet for the last 8 days with sickness and dia - cannot spell it! Sometimes wonder if it is worth it?
Well, depression is the pits, and for me, it has been far more disabling than diabetes. I can only tell you what worked for me ā you are going to have to find your own path. First thing I did was find a psychiatrist, who put me on an anti-depressant. They donāt make you happy, but for me, it stopped the 24/7 suicidal thoughts I was having. That alone makes it worthwhile. If one anti-depressant gives you unpleasant side-effects, there are LOTS of others that the doc can try, but I think a psychiatrist is more qualified to work with you than an internal medicine doc.
Second, I started counseling with a psychologist. I have individual sessions every other week, but I also go to a weekly group with 5 other women, which can be very enlightening. The counseling is helping me see where my sadnesses come from, and encourage me to think of ways to combat them. Weāre also working on anger, which Iām not very good at, and therefore all the more important. It takes time, and there are ups and downs, but Iām glad Iām doing it, and I feel a lot better than when I started, which was about 3 years ago.
Iām not going to go off the antidepressant, because Iām afraid of the return of suicidal thoughts, but I can truly say Iām not depressed any more.
Latvianchick, hang in there! You already perservered through two cancellations and finally got yourself in to see the doctor ā that shows me that you are still a strong and determined person, despite how you might feel right now. Meds have helped me a lot too but I did have some unpleasant side effects in the beginning. They should pass, and if they donāt, keep trying. Iāve been living with depression on and off for over half my life (Iām 45) and my experience is that it can get better. Besides meds and therapy, walking has been my most helpful tool for healing. I just make myself get out of the house and do it, whether I feel like it or not. Thatās because I pretty much never feel like it, so if I waited until I did, I would never go. I walk until I start to feel better; usually about 20-30 minutes first thing in the morning is best. Diet also helps. Keeping away from sugar especially, though that is hard because the meds Iām on (Citalopram) give me monster carb cravings. Also, I talk to friends, even though itās the last thing I feel like doing when Iām really depressed. I donāt necessarily have to talk about my depression, just try to have a human connection. Blessings to you and best wishes for healing and happiness.
I forgot to mention yoga! I just started doing it seriously a little more than a year ago and itās been super helpful. The first few weeks I would go through the class with tears rolling down my face the entire time, but by the end of class I felt better, so I kept going. There are lots of different kinds of yoga but if you can find a Restorative Yoga class that might be a good place to start, especially if your depression is the low-energy, exhausted all the time variety.
I have tried many different types of medication and therapy to treat my depression. I am currently hoping that my insurance will cover a course of treatment with TMS. Has anybody tried that?
Melanie, Iām so sorry youāre suffering. But I donāt know what TMS is, so canāt comment! For me, the only things that have helped with depression are: 1) antidepressant to stop the suicidal thoughts, 2) psychologist for therapy to talk and cry about my feelings, and 3) just plain waiting it out. It always gets better, in my experience, but it may take a LONG time. For me, up to a year (although I know that is not encouraging). Please do let me know what TMS is. And Iām hoping youāll feel better soon!
Sometimes, blood sugars often affect depression. I know that when mine are elevated (180+) for extended periods, my depression (the rage part) escalates.
Diabetes is no fun for anybody. Too bad I canāt provide you with a solution for your problem.
TMS = https://secure.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/wiki/Tension_myositis_syndrome
Perhaps a bubble mat might be of use?
Below is some info about TMS. I have both type 1 diabetes and hepatitis C, so many antidepressant medications are not a good idea for me to take since I have developed elevated liver enzymes from taking them. They also have had unbearable side effects in some cases in addition to just not working for me. Glad they do work for so many others!
The NeuroStar TMS TherapyĀ® system is the first and only non-systemic and non-invasive TMS system cleared by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) for patients with major depression who have not benefited from prior antidepressant treatment.* The NeuroStarĀ® TMS system uses a highly focused, pulsed magnetic field to stimulate function in targeted brain regions.
Ohhh, having a bad day and canāt snap out of it. The feelings of self-worth I used to have seem so completely out of reach these days. Itās hard to get anything done at allā¦
Jan, I am so sorry to hear this. I know exactly what you mean. Do things tend to be better for you in the morning, or not? If so, maybe you should just give yourself a break for today & wait for tomorrow. If not, what are some other things that have helped in the past? Can you take a walk? Do just one thing, and congratulate yourself for that? Think up some positives about yourself now? Talk to a friend? Hope something helps.
Iām 65 and have dealt with depression since I was a young teenager, maybe longer. Since I also have autoimmune disease that began about the same time, I have come to realize that the depression is simply a chemical imbalance in my brain. Yes, my blood sugars affect my mood: high = depression and lethargy; too low = anxiety and panic.
Finally, at least I have found the right combination of meds for the depression. Now, if I could just get the diabetes under control! 
Anyway, my message is, donāt give up. Never think the downs are permanent. And avoid making any life-changing decisions when you are in one. God bless!
Buffy and Petite, these were such nice messages! I appreciate your quick replies, and the fact that youāre out there.
I actually did take a moderate walk this afternoon, but it didnāt seem to have much of an effect. Had a Skype call with someone else from TuDiabetes, and she said that once she went on a pump, it helped her depression enormously. Thatās something to look forward to.
Iāve had clinical depression my whole life. As time goes on, Iāve little by little had to up my meds. The current ones were working fine, then I was hit with diabetes (Iām just four months old). I know that DM affects all your hormones, including the neurotransmitters in your brain. God, just what I needed. (Not!!)
Right now Iām trying to live through a triple-whammy: adjust to the diabetes while Iām living alone and not working. All three can contribute to depressionā¦