Scooter, I congratulate you for taking positive steps to deal with this problem. There is no doubt that what you are facing is overwhelming – would be for anyone! And you are not alone in having suffered depression since childhood – the only unfortunate thing for a lot of us is that it was not recognized. But there weren’t any good treatments, at least when I was a child, so I just suffered. I actually read somewhere that if you experience a traumatic event during childhood, and have the genes that make you susceptible, that it permanently changes your brain chemicals, and makes you forever sensitive to depression. Which means that it’s NOT your fault, and you didn’t do anything wrong, and NO, you can’t just “snap out of it”. I know that’s true for me, and can pinpoint the exact episode that triggered it. So I applaud you for doing whatever it takes to relieve your suffering, and I DO believe it can be relieved, although it takes time. Keep us posted!